Berserk Stupid theories

Post by **Skullkracker** » Mon Oct 02, 2006 4:54 pm

seriously boys!

I am a bit bored, but not THIS much...
so cut the crap and do some sensible posting!

Post by **Dagda Mor** » Mon Oct 02, 2006 10:45 pm

Deathbringer wrote:
InsaneNoodlyGuy wrote:Just what ever did happen to Zodd's horn? It now serves Griffiths tongue, which is being stalked across the land by Gat'z severed hand. This dangerous hand recently defeated the severed body of the Count and the penis of Wild.
For a second i forgot that this was the stupid theories thread and i seriously freaked out.

Ladies and gentlemen, I believe we have a winner.

Post by **wotjesus** » Tue Oct 03, 2006 12:29 am

Chuck Norris comes upon the vomited spatial rift in his travels, and decides to hop on in. He winds up in the Berserk universe, finding Gattz hanging around bored out of his mind now that everything is dead. Pitying him, Chuck Norris uses his godly powers to resurrect everyone. Seeing this, Gattz kills him afterwards for comparitively being a weakling.

Post by **Skullkracker** » Tue Oct 03, 2006 7:56 am

Guts is the only one in the world who could kill Chuck Norris...

Post by **Aeriel** » Tue Oct 03, 2006 9:21 am

Well, although I generally agree, I would like to see Chuck against any God-Finger. That would be a fight!

Post by **Finito** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 6:54 pm

Ubik is Chuck Norris in a disguise.

Post by **wotjesus** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 2:26 am

Unbeknownst to all but a few, Chuck Norris can perform massive mitosis at will, effectively creating a clone. These clones seem to do their own thing, although all of them perpetuate the concept of ass-kickery. However, all of these clones (one of which masquerading as Ubik) are connected to a powerful, mental core that is essentially the mind of Chuck Norris. This core is often refered to as 'The Idea of Evil.'

Post by **Gattsblackfalcon** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 4:06 am

i want to know if Chuck Norris knows Jeet Kun Do ( did Bruce Lee taugh him that ? ) because if Chuck knows that martial art , i can't imagine who will win .

Post by **Gundam_Bobcat** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 5:12 am

I think Chuck Norris only knows how to do is a roundhouse kick. Serious I think Chuck Norris does Karate or Tae Kwan Do.

As for Jeet Kun Do, I think Bruce Lee is the one and only master of that form of Kung Fu.

Post by **Skullkracker** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 10:41 am

tsk, tsk, don't go turning this into a vs thread people!

Post by **Aeriel** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 11:05 am

I don't see how this can go 'vs'. I mean, Chuck Norris is one and the only, and there can be no vs against him

Well, except Gutts of course

Post by **Finito** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 4:13 pm

Yeah I was thinking it was becoming lame with the vs stuff going on and Im regretting the Chuck Norris reference in my theorie.

Except the

Unbeknownst to all but a few, Chuck Norris can perform massive mitosis at will, effectively creating a clone. These clones seem to do their own thing, although all of them perpetuate the concept of ass-kickery. However, all of these clones (one of which masquerading as Ubik) are connected to a powerful, mental core that is essentially the mind of Chuck Norris. This core is often refered to as 'The Idea of Evil.'

The other theories are bad and VS oriented.

Post by **Sandman** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 9:30 pm

Just like to say long time no see to bobcat and nice AV and Sig

And this

Guts gets a visit from God while Guts tries to blow him up with his cannon God Kills him and brings him back to life in an instant, and with that Gut learns that he has been chosen to stand against the darkness. Also before Guts is sent on his marry way all his weapons are embued with HOLY, even his fake arm

Post by **Skullkracker** » Sat Oct 07, 2006 3:54 pm

mmmm...sparkling Guts!

Post by **Finito** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 4:51 pm

Because of the Kushans interruption, Griffith and Guts drinking competition ended as a draw at the stage where the drunkness was making them throw water at eachothers with kind laughing in a completely naked state.
Both Griffiths and Guts allies finally join the party.
But danger is everywhere with the Kushans invasion so some infiltration skills is needed. In the kind of a Zodd demon form completely shaved, disguised as a skater with a hood covering his horns and acting as griffiths homework boy. The yaoiness of Gundrel towards Zodd as him playing the football kid always picking on the Sk8teRb0yZs.

Post by **Bengal** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 9:13 pm

I'm pretty sure that Gatts is gonna perpetuate the cycle of sexual abuse when he finally gets ahold of his kid again.

Post by **Sandman** » Thu Nov 09, 2006 8:59 pm

When Berserk starts back up there is going to be a time shift like in Naruto, and Guts's hair is going to be pure white and he will trade in his fake arm for a gun blade, Ishidoro is going to be sixteen and be a replica of Guts when he was that age but with a lot more scars carry and Muscles plus he will carry the sister blade to the Dragon Slayer, the God Slayer (because it origanally took out one of the God Hand), Serpico will have short hair with Dual Feather swords with different heat properties and Farnese will grow hers back out and carry a claymore, Silke will become so great of a wizard, under the teaching of the Fairy King, that she doesnt even need to speak to make her spells happen any more just think of what she wants to happen then it does, plus she can control the 4 elemental Kings when ever and how ever she wants... The chapter start out with the finish of the invation with Giffith sucking Ganashaka Soul then a flash with next panel is Guts and Party standing in front of Griffith with a shocked face Giffith is astonished to see that they didnt even break a sweat killing all his apostles at the end Giffith will say "how... how did you become so strong???" then it will cut to their Voyage and all the training they went through... this will go on for Volumes and then they will make it back to that moment with them standing there in front of Griffith...

Post by **Gattsblackfalcon** » Thu Nov 09, 2006 9:21 pm

Wow Sandman , nice theory .

The chapter start out with the finish of the invation with Giffith sucking Ganashaka..... soul

I thought that Griffith was sucking Ganishka's......

Ahaha its a joke , please don't flame me .

Post by **Starnum** » Thu Nov 09, 2006 9:43 pm

Heh, interesting, but why would Farnese have a claymore when she's training to become a witch...oh well *shrugs*.

Post by **Azrael** » Thu Nov 09, 2006 9:54 pm

Gundam_Bobcat wrote:As for Jeet Kun Do, I think Bruce Lee is the one and only master of that form of Kung Fu.

Actually, Jeet Kun Do (Actually now called Jun Fan Jeet Kun Do) is not a form of kung-fu, nor a style of martial arts.
It is a combat philosophy a that Bruce Lee founded and embraced to apply to his martial arts, to emphasize efficiency, simplicity, and versatility. He said it himself that he had not invented a new style. The only thing that would bring it even close to being a style is how it focuses on the 4 ranges of combat:
* Kicking
* Punching
* Trapping
* Grappling
Whereas most martial arts mostly concentrate on one or two of them.

*Rainbow appears*
The more you know!

Post by **Sandman** » Thu Nov 09, 2006 11:00 pm

Starnum wrote:Heh, interesting, but why would Farnese have a claymore when she's training to become a witch...oh well *shrugs*.

She still uses the torn snakes to immobileize her prey the cuts them in half... and its a magical claymore that can turn into any element the weilder wishes.

Post by **Aeriel** » Thu Nov 09, 2006 11:01 pm

No, no, not another bloody flashback!! Wasn't one Gold Age enough? Do you really want another 10-volume story-cut, another thing for some fans to rant about?

"OMG that Voyage arc was so C00L!!!!!1111 and rest of B3r53rk sucks so im not gonna buy new volumes from now on, Voyage FTW!!1111oneone"

Don't know about you, but if I see just another one of these I'm going to warm up my chainsaw and pull up the old Berserk Chainsaw Massacre.

Post by **Istvan** » Thu Nov 09, 2006 11:45 pm

No, no, not another bloody flashback!! Wasn't one Gold Age enough? Do you really want another 10-volume story-cut, another thing for some fans to rant about?

"OMG that Voyage arc was so C00L!!!!!1111 and rest of B3r53rk sucks so im not gonna buy new volumes from now on, Voyage FTW!!1111oneone"

Sure, because it would still force all of those people to (probably) buy all the volumes between the end of the Golden Age and this flashback, and then once they start complaining that after the second flashback the story sucks and they won't buy it anymore, we can have another flashback. And this can continue until whenever Miura finishes the story. Thus we true Berserk fans will no longer have to endure the whining of those poor fools who think the story after the Golden Age sucks.

Post by **Sandman** » Fri Nov 10, 2006 5:07 am

I dont think another Flashback is going to happen but I guess you never know

Post by **Aeriel** » Fri Nov 10, 2006 10:08 am

Istvan wrote:Sure, because it would still force all of those people to (probably) buy all the volumes between the end of the Golden Age and this flashback, and then once they start complaining that after the second flashback the story sucks and they won't buy it anymore, we can have another flashback. And this can continue until whenever Miura finishes the story. Thus we true Berserk fans will no longer have to endure the whining of those poor fools who think the story after the Golden Age sucks.

LOL!

Didn't think about it that way, but you speak truth.

Evil Genius

Berserk Stupid theories

is this thread useful?