Joke of the day

Way off-topic, and allowed! General discussions on anything and everything.

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Necromancer
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Post by Necromancer »

Yeah yeah, but I always try to see hope for humanity. Seems like it's really lost.
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"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." - Albert Einstein
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martyr3810
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Post by martyr3810 »

Optimism is doomed to a short and painful existence.
I am without a home and in that I find my place in it all.
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Skullkracker
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Post by Skullkracker »

Sad but true!

Good one Shaka Zulu! :D
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Saiyah
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Post by Saiyah »

t's been a while since anyone posted here, but I'll do it anyway.

So here it goes...

There are these 3 guys who work on a construction site of the worlds tallest building. There is a white guy, a black guy and a latin guy.

Every day at lunch time they sit together and eat. The white guy has a turkey sandwitch, the black guy has a hamburger and the latin guy has tuna. Today was a bad day at the job and the guys were pissed.

The black guy says; "Dammit! if my wife makes me another hamburger, I swear to god I will jump from the top of this site.

The latin guy says; "Im so sick of tuna! If that woman makes me another tuna sandwitch im jumping too!"

-They both look at the white guy-

He says:"uhh yeah! I hate turkey, If I get it again, Im off with you guys!"

The next day they all meet for lunch.....

As usual the black guy has a hamburger .... he jumps off and dies
The latin guy has tuna .... he jumps and dies as well
The white guy has turkey .... he joins his friends in death.

- at the funeral the families of the three friends all stand crying and over come with grief.-

- The latin guys wife sobs "I wish he would have just told me! I would had made him taco's!
- The black guys wife say "I know what you mean, I would have atleast gave him chicken...."

- The two women look at the white guy's wife, she shakes her head in disbelief looking at the mans coffin. The two women come close to her and notice she is not crying. The latin guys wife says: "I know how you feel, guilty that you didn't make him somthing better to eat right?"

- The white guy's wife looks the women both in the eyes and says: "I just don't understand this ..... he made his own lunch ...."
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Nah, It's not true.
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Concealed_Rage
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Post by Concealed_Rage »

I have a quick one someone told me at work



Q: Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 70



A: Because she got a frog in her throat at 69
"He appeared right in front of me, and he wasn't a demon... but what looked like a human. As if he'd been yanked from before into the present unchanged. I gazed at him and for a second... I forgot to kill him."
- Guts from Berserk
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Skullkracker
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Post by Skullkracker »

Bwahahahaha

Q: What is absolute noisy?

A: Two skeletons fucking on a tin roof.
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Shaka Zulu
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Post by Shaka Zulu »

Well we need to revive this thread.

And was better then a a brilliant and hilarious little history lesson :LOL:


If World War Two had been an RTS game, it would have gone a little something like this....

*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*
Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0JO: lol
Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got **** to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses
T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: wtf
Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right ***** im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be an arss
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help
Hitler: o man ur focked
paTTon: oh what now biotch
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
*benny-tow has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt: gj patton
paTTon: thnx
Hitler[AoE]: WTF eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t
Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny~tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker
Stalin: rofl
T0J0: HAHAHHAA
Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
*Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*
benny~tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
*Hitler[AoE] has left the game*
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
benny~tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: fock u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is gay
*Roosevelt has left the game.*
Hitler[AoE]: wtf?
Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join
*tru_m4n has joined the game.*
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy ****holy****hoyl****!
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*
*The Allied team has won the game!*
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bull**** u fockin suck
*T0J0 has left the game.*
*Eisenhower has left the game.*
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
tru_m4n: l8r all
benny~tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: fock u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
*tru_m4n has left the game.*
benny~tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
*Churchill has left the game.*
*benny~tow has left the game.*
Stalin: i hate u all fags
*Stalin has left the game.*
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
*paTTon has been eliminated.*
paTTon: o sh1t!
*paTTon has left the game.*



:LOL: :LOL: :LOL: The only thing that could have been better is if they used the maniac Stalin a bit more and better,it would have been great.
Last edited by Shaka Zulu on Tue Jul 19, 2005 12:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
Until the lion learns to speak, the tales of the hunt will be(weak) told by the hunter
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dialdfordesi
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Post by dialdfordesi »

Well I can't top the stuff I've seen here, but...
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They prefer to cry in the dark.
Trust me, I'm a doctor!
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halfnhalf
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Post by halfnhalf »

that was pretty funny lol
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Necromancer
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Post by Necromancer »

And why do you write the same many times in one post? :?
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"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." - Albert Einstein
Shaka Zulu
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Post by Shaka Zulu »

Haha,I did? I didnt even notice :lol: Thanks for the heads up.

No one wonder it looked a bit too long.Too trigger happy wen it comes to copy and paste,it seems...
Until the lion learns to speak, the tales of the hunt will be(weak) told by the hunter
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Skullkracker
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Post by Skullkracker »

It was good anyhow. I didn't read every part of it, but it IS good.
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Necromancer
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Post by Necromancer »

Shaka Zulu wrote:Haha,I did? I didnt even notice :lol: Thanks for the heads up.

No one wonder it looked a bit too long.Too trigger happy wen it comes to copy and paste,it seems...
I first didn't want to read it, because it looked so long, but then I noticed it was the same many times.
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"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." - Albert Einstein
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