Berserk Stupid theories

[dialdfordesi]

That makes me think.......What if Isidoro is really Stiffler in disguise???
So many things would make sense then......his constant yet always fruitless efforts to get laid, his lack of even the slightest bit of empathy and lots of other funny stuff he had in common with Stiffler that i wont mention bcause I am too damn lazy......

If Isidro is the Stiffler, then Puck is the kid who did the pie. Guts is his dad.

Guts would so be that Lacrosse guy.

That means that the choir chick is Caska?

[The Herald]

And Farnese is the band geek chick!

[War Machine]

This is way beyond what the stupid theories thread is supposed to cover. If this comparison continues we may need to make a new thread for the "Abhorrently Stupid Theories".

[lon3vvolf]

And now for something completely different.

When the final showdown between Gutts and Griffith comes to pass, we will get a flashback.
Not back to the band of the hawk, or even before Gutts joined them.
It'll be a flashback to when Gambino was a kid. This arc will last about 30 volumes as well. We will all die before it is completed. Mr. Miura will live for a very long time as someone will create a time chamber for him so he can sleep about 2 months between releases.

[Rolos]

Thats not gonna happen, but you are close.

You see, once Miura finishes Berserk he is going to be soooooo bored that he will decide to write Bersecks, a compilation of all the explicit porn and violence he coulndt insert in Berserk without making the plot a mere accesory for the violence and porn.

Bersecks will start with the scene when Wyld s pennis falls to the ground. But, instead of following the fight, we will witness Wyld pennis escape from the battlefield, because, as you all probably guessed by now, Wyldennis (yeah, thats his name) will be the main character.

Berseck will then follow the dark, bloodstained path of Wyldennis as he seeks for revenge.

Its gonna be a great hit. 1.000.000.000 copies sold the very first week.



Pd: ok, that was supossed to be funny. If you found it boring and morally offensive, well, ignore it or ask some MOD to delete the post. I really dont care.

[The Prince]

Thats not gonna happen, but you are close.

You see, once Miura finishes Berserk he is going to be soooooo bored that he will decide to write Bersecks, a compilation of all the explicit porn and violence he coulndt insert in Berserk without making the plot a mere accesory for the violence and porn.

Bersecks will start with the scene when Wyld s pennis falls to the ground. But, instead of following the fight, we will witness Wyld pennis escape from the battlefield, because, as you all probably guessed by now, Wyldennis (yeah, thats his name) will be the main character.

Berseck will then follow the dark, bloodstained path of Wyldennis as he seeks for revenge.

Its gonna be a great hit. 1.000.000.000 copies sold the very first week.

Pd: ok, that was supossed to be funny. If you found it boring and morally offensive, well, ignore it or ask some MOD to delete the post. I really dont care.

Looks like someone (Rolos) might be in need of an intervention.

[Tonbo]

And Farnese is the band geek chick!

YES!!!
"Say my name, bitch!" as she rides Gut's Dragonslayer.
Someone needs to go back and re-edit that chapter so it translates right.


And one time at bible camp, we got all the heathens together and roasted marshmallows on their flaming corpses...
Now whenever I read Berserk I'm going to see Alyson Hannigan as Willow, I mean Farnese, I mean... whatever.

[Sortep]

guts' powerlevel > 9000.... griffith freaks and caska cuts his ass off

[Rolos]

Looks like someone (Rolos) might be in need of an intervention.

Prince, you are as good with pictures/images as always.....

BTW, the second part.....you mean I should care? After all, is just a stupid theory.

[dialdfordesi]

In chapter 300, Guts will lose the berserker's armor, and wear simply a loincloth and a cape. He'll walk around and someone will ask about Caska saying "What's up with her? It's like she's pure madness!" to which Guts will get furious and reply, "Madness? THIS IS CASKA!" and cannon arm the poor sap off a cliff.

[The Herald]

I don't see why you guys keep comparing Guts to Leonidas. Guts is just so much more clothed and doesn't shoot his mouth off like an idiot (despite the fans' wishes that he does so). Though, it is chapter 300, so if a comparison must be made, Guts isn't even there, but Griffith is Xirxes and Leonidas is just some other midlander or something. Though, Xirxes is more like the Kushan leader .... Yeah, Berserk can't be compared to 300.

[The Prince]

I don't see why you guys keep comparing Guts to Leonidas. Guts is just so much more clothed and doesn't shoot his mouth off like an idiot (despite the fans' wishes that he does so). Though, it is chapter 300, so if a comparison must be made, Guts isn't even there, but Griffith is Xirxes and Leonidas is just some other midlander or something. Though, Xirxes is more like the Kushan leader .... Yeah, Berserk can't be compared to 300.

Come on now....humor the guy. The purpose of the joke had nothing to do with (nor suggested) comparing the two characters. Its premise involved a simple role reversal, providing a couple atlernative scenarios for how things may have played themselves differently with Guts in pace of Leonidas.

[dialdfordesi]

I actually suggested the 300 spoof because of the dude that got banned for asking what might happen in chapter 300.

After Guts kills Grunbeld, Guts will start selling those corundrum crystals for a living.

[The Herald]

I wasn't trying to burn anyone, I just got into a little internal argument about trying to compare Berserk to 300, which isn't really possible because the stories don't click.

Anyways, Magnifico is going to go to Griffith's side because he's got so much more power and Roderick's going to just blow him away with a cannon.

[Istvan]

Anyways, Magnifico is going to go to Griffith's side because he's got so much more power and Roderick's going to just blow him away with a cannon.

Such an idea doesn't seem stupid enough for this thread. After all, something similiar to this might actually happen.

[lon3vvolf]

In chapter 300, Guts will lose the berserker's armor, and wear simply a loincloth and a cape.

That can't happen... there is no loincloth big enough to hide that 3rd leg.
I loved that THIS IS CASKA part.

Anyways, Magnifico is going to go to Griffith's side because he's got so much more power and Roderick's going to just blow him away with a cannon.

Corrected verion:
Anyways, Magnifico is going to go to Griffith's side because he's almost as flaming as Griffith, and Griffiths just going to blow him away... [spoiler]with his mouth.[/spoiler]

[The Herald]

Magnifico is totally going to be Griffith's bitch.

[dialdfordesi]

I don't think you needed to put up spoiler tags since we all know what you meant
When Magnifico becomes Griffith's bitch, is Farnese also going to vow revenge against Griffith? I think so.

[The Herald]

It's funny thinking about this because no one knows anything about Griffith in Guts' group. Other than Guts and Casca. Though, Serpico, Farnese and Isidro were there at the second eclipse in Albion, but I don't think they quite knew what was going on. Then Roderick may know something, depending on how much Guts divulged, but I'm expecting he didn't say anything. Hmmm, this doesn't really belong in stupid theories ...

Judeau will rise from the dead and finally confess his love to Casca in another one of those qliphoth things!

[dialdfordesi]

The God Hand and even the Idea of Evil are all tools that are manipulated by a greater evil's secret family technique.

Yes. Adon is the source of all evil in the world of Berserk.

[The Herald]

And the source of all tooth decay in the world.

[Istvan]

The God Hand and even the Idea of Evil are all tools that are manipulated by a greater evil's secret family technique.

Yes. Adon is the source of all evil in the world of Berserk.

And it turns out that as the controler of the ultra-secret Idea of Good, Caska (she's been faking the mental issues all along) is the only one who can kill him.

Again.

[RanShi]

The Behilits all cry and go emo, grow emo-style hair and cut themselves.

The idea of god then dies and griffith turns into his original form again, unable to do shit.

Then Caska and Guts adopt him , and get a kid they name Pippin.

They revive that pedophile that took Griffith from behind when he was a kid, and he rapes Griffith til the end of his days.

[The Prince]

The Behilits all cry and go emo, grow emo-style hair and cut themselves.

The idea of god then dies and griffith turns into his original form again, unable to do shit.

Then Caska and Guts adopt him , and get a kid they name Pippin.

They revive that pedophile that took Griffith from behind when he was a kid, and he rapes Griffith til the end of his days.

But Griffith might actually enjoy that.

They should just lock him up in a cell again, and this time just have Puck torture him.

[Istvan]

The Behilits all cry and go emo, grow emo-style hair and cut themselves.

The idea of god then dies and griffith turns into his original form again, unable to do shit.

Then Caska and Guts adopt him , and get a kid they name Pippin.

They revive that pedophile that took Griffith from behind when he was a kid, and he rapes Griffith til the end of his days.

But Griffith might actually enjoy that.

They should just lock him up in a cell again, and this time just have Puck torture him.

You MONSTER!!! No one deserves to be locked in a cage with Puck for the rest of their lives!!