Evil Genius

I bring you...SPAM!: the (online) magazine.

Remember how I used to go on and on about this magazine I was starting?

Well, it went well. It's been going out for quite a while, actually.
Haven't made a dime out of it, though.
The thing is, I'm getting tired of this "getting sponsors, getting the people participating to write, pressuring the printers to have it on time and distributing the magazine on campuses" routine.
It's tiresome, boring and it forces me to run around like a moron, just to make sure people do what they were supposed to do in the first place. None of this would bother me if I could at least satisfy my "literary hunger" or whatever you call that warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you feel you've made something worthwhile, made the world and yourself a little smarter by having shared something really well done.
I haven't felt that working for this magazine. It's the public. They won't read anything that takes the littlest bit of effort to understand.
I learned that after the first edition fiasco (it had too much text, apparently)

Anyway, the thing is, I'm starting a new version of SPAM!, and this time it's going to be online.

Problem is, I don't have the know-how. I write stuff. Talk to people. Lie, if necessary.
It's what I do. What I don't do is edit images or set up websites.

Anyone here interested in doing that kind of thing? (writers would also be appreciated)

P.S. http://rapidshare.com/files/404642539/E ... e.rar.html

Just a little sample of the kinda stuff I'm interested in.

1) Get some hosting.

2) Install WordPress.

Done.

You haven't said anything, Rolos, so I'm assuming you're waiting for other people to comment or give you advice on your situation, so I'm gonna help you out:

Do what Femto said.

Alternatively, you could make the magazine as a series of images (PDFs, JPEGs, etc.) that you simply distribute online.

I assume you're all familiar with Cracked.com
Well, the idea I have for the magazine is similar to that, only less comedic and more reader-oriented.
By that I mean that most of what is published (ideally, at least) is going to be works submitted by readers.
I'm not a journalist. I'm doing this because it's fun and it gives me an opportunity to air my opinions (or lack of them), read interesting stuff and meet people.
Besides, I think everyone should have a little side-project (apart from world domination, immortality, etc...) in which to spend free time, instead of wasting it in, say, 4chan.
My point being that I won't break my (economic) back working for this thing. I won't pay writers.
The idea behind this magazine is to create a safe, welcoming and (most importantly) heavily trafficked place for people to publish their works. Like a blog, only with more than 10 people reading what you upload.

I'm on the process of doing what Femto said AND making a series of Pdfs to distribute on the web, sending it to certain people I think might be interested.
War Machine, do you have anything you'd like to have published? Because it can be done (as long as it meets certain quality criteria, I can't just publish one big picture of a giant throbbing penis with your name on it).

Rolos wrote:(as long as it meets certain quality criteria, I can't just publish one big picture of a giant throbbing penis with your name on it).

And just like that I don't care for your magazine anymore.

I consider myself an amateur writer (as in not yet getting paid for my work), so maybe I'll contribute something once your site's up and running, if you want. Anyway, I like the idea, and look forward to seeing what comes out of it, so keep us posted.

What genre would the magazine / site be in? I.E. what content do you want your writers to write about? Any constraints? Or just insteresting stuff no matter about what?

Because like Starnum, I'd kinda be interested in writing for a collaboration "blog" too. I had 2 semesters of journalism, and I always was interested in writing, but I only post very irregularly on my own personal blog that nobody reads anyway.

So yeah, keep us posted

Aetherfukz wrote: but I only post very irregularly on my own personal blog that nobody reads anyway.

[DPP edit: you don't need the enter here after a quote, it'll make your posts take less space. Just sayin.]
Yeah, I'm the same way, but it's okay because no one reads my blog either, heh.

And BAM!, this is how the print version is looking. As you may have noticed, it's short, has a lot of (borrowed) comics and pictures and, in general, is just plain crap.
There's only one good article in the whole magazine, and even that took a lot of convincing (most of my "benefactors" think I should pursue a strict no-more-than-1-page-of-text policy).

But enough excuses....here it is!

http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc31 ... /cover.jpg
http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc31 ... anther.jpg
http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc31 ... /rilo1.jpg
http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc31 ... /Rilo2.jpg
http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc31 ... /rilo3.jpg
http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc31 ... /rilo4.jpg
http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc31 ... /rilo5.jpg
http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc31 ... /rilo6.jpg
http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc31 ... burrio.jpg
http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc31 ... /rilo8.jpg
http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc31 ... /rilo9.jpg
http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc31 ... rilo10.jpg
http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc31 ... mine11.jpg
http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc31 ... rilo14.jpg
http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc31 ... erback.jpg
http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc31 ... ulo-13.jpg



I'm still working on the online part...I'll give you the links and stuff (if you're interested, I mean) as soon as they're ready.

DPP wrote:[DPP edit: you don't need the enter here after a quote, it'll make your posts take less space. Just sayin.]

Oh, thanks for the tip. I was unaware.

As for SPAM! It was entertaining, humorous, and even informative. I approve.

Good read there, but what's with the typesetting? It seems in some spots that spaces and letters are getting transferred to the next line (for instance, pg rilo2: end of line 4, and p2 line 7). Are you manually breaking the lines every time, or is it perhaps a word-wrapping problem? Well, while I'm at it:

pg rilo2: p2 line11: " ,essays" -> ", essays"
pg rilo2: p2 line20: "comicn" -> "comicon"?
pg rilo2: p2 line21: missing end quotation mark
pg rilo10: p2 line18: should be "The heads" instead of "he heads".

Are there two spaces between some words? It looks that way to me... I think you're trying to do this, aren't you? So that I can SPAM! you will fixes.

And if you're gonna save the text pages as images, then you might want to use .png or .gif, which will give a smaller file size and bypass the jpg compression (but you still want jpg for your image pages).

*Angry rambling that should be ignored*

Thanks for pointing that out man, you just saved me one hell of an embarrassment.

P.S. Just wrote this. I don't know why, but I think it'd make for an awesome comic.

"Past the depths of despair, beyond the shores of agony, through the pits of madness and just behind the heights of boredom lies a man. He’s a young man; his beard little more than a trickle of hair sprayed across a broad smiling face, his complexion that of a person who not only enjoys, but actively pursues the subtle art of ennui. He’s a happy young man, and he’s gazing at the stars while lying on his back, the warm surface of the giant pancake he’s sprawled on softly pressing against his back. “Art” he wonders aloud “is little more than the practice of implicating things. Just another form of communication; but one characterized not by the clearness of the message, but by how subtle the transmission of information is. Art is saying stuff without saying it, telling truth through lies, and being easy yet hard, like a titanium whore". He laughs, apparently satisfied about the quality of his insights.
He’s melting, he’s made of butter. He doesn’t care, he’s bored, he’s happy, he’s utterly uninteresting.
THUMP!
A sound shakes the world.
THUMP!
The pieces of man begins to coalesce into a recognizable figure.
CRACK!
The skies are torn asunder, the ceiling of the world cracked across, the scalp of the balding man that calls himself universe trepanated as a giant, monstrous, greedy, infernal dragon materializes his ugly head from the voids of non-existence.
The man blinks. That is no dragon…it’s a dinosaur! But that’s impossible, dinosaurs never existed, the devil planted their bones on the earth’s mantle to test his faith!
This cannot beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

“Godammit! “says ex-creationist Johny, getting up from his bed. “fuck you, Freud, FUCK YOU!”"


Reason for edition: I've been kind of an asshole lately, even for GIFT standards.
This gave me an idea, which I'll discuss in the following double-post.

A-Hole's Corner



Some of you showed some interest in writing something for SPAM!, occasionally and with no string attached. That is awesome and encouraging, but leaves me wondering about your different writing styles and preferences.
I'm thinking of adding a column in the magazine called "A-Hole's Corner", in which assholes can be subject, author or literary device, whatever suits the different writers' tastes best.
Why don't those interested write something as if they were writing for said column, to get a feel of their kind of writing?
Here are some random excerpts of different possible ways to approach this column:


1- Fantastic:

"Assholes are everywhere, and they're out to get you.
That, right there, is a fact.
Another fact is that you cannot defeat an asshole, not without becoming one yourself, thus playing right into the hands of Kal'mu-thal (the ancient Sumerian god whose name can be roughly translated as "he-who-skips-line, interrupts-you-when-you're-talking, steals-your-goats and generally-acts-like-some-kind-of-arse-trapped-in-a-steep-depression-on-the-ground") by providing him with a fresh new host."

2- Essayistic:

"I’m a normal guy.
I watch movies, have friends, buy stuff, eat things, breath air, enjoy sex and think Sartre was an over-hyped emo kid with mother issues.
You know, normal stuff.
Like most people, I hate my childhood and everything that remains from it, hate my current life, am very pessimistic about my prospects for the future, care for the environment, hope everyone and everything dies the very moment I draw my last breath and enjoy cooking.
Very, very normal.
Since I’m so astoundingly normal, so remarkably common, I was fairly surprised when Rolos asked me to write a column for his shitty magazine, which would be the reason I’m wasting my time writing this, instead of kicking puppies, molesting children or mugging old ladies, as I usually do.
...
...
...
Ok, so I may be kind of an asshole.
...
Ok, so I’m not just an asshole, I’m THE asshole.
I mean, it’s not something I do occasionally, it’s what I am. My vocation, the reason I get up in the morning, the essence of my being (suck it, phenomenology!) is based around following the platonic ideal of assholeness.
And I’m good at it. Why?
Because I have a method, a system."

3- Exemplary:

"I don't have time to write anything, I'm far too busy reviewing my vast collection of disturbing, morally unforgivable pornography!"


As long as it is vaguely related to A-holes, it works for me, and that I'm no one to emit judgment about quality.
Seriously, don't think too much about it, just scribble whatever comes to your mind when hearing the subject and post it on this thread.