Berserk Stupid theories

Post by **psi29a** » Fri May 13, 2005 3:57 pm

misuru wrote:farneze's mother is actually slan, but only on the weekend.

where else do you think farneze got her fetish for riding swords?

you are my new favorite newbie!

Post by **Sandman** » Fri May 13, 2005 4:23 pm

Guts get addicted to Fairy Dust and enslave all of Elfheim to support his habbits.

Post by **Necromancer** » Fri May 13, 2005 8:27 pm

misuru wrote:farneze's mother is actually slan, but only on the weekend.

where else do you think farneze got her fetish for riding swords?

Awesome theory.

Post by **Arresty** » Fri May 13, 2005 9:20 pm

misuru wrote:farneze's mother is actually slan, but only on the weekend.

where else do you think farneze got her fetish for riding swords?

Good Stuff.

They all go through another eclipse, and this time Guts looses his memory. Schierke then runs away with him convincing him they were lovers.

Post by **Sandman** » Fri May 13, 2005 10:13 pm

Here is one for you... The Behelit that Guts carries is for Farnase, she sacrifices Serpico and becomes a giant pussy with teeth.

Post by **Devil_Dante** » Sat May 14, 2005 12:24 am

Suddenly, Griffith realizes he's gay and gives up.

Post by **Sandman** » Sat May 14, 2005 12:27 am

Suddenly, Griffith realizes he's gay and gives up.

....and settles down with Zodd.

Post by **Devil_Dante** » Sat May 14, 2005 12:28 am

Now that they live together, Griffith will search for work to make a living, and Zodd does all the chores. He learns how to cook and shit like that

.

Post by **Sandman** » Sat May 14, 2005 12:32 am

yes one day they had an arguement over who was going to do the dishes and Griffith cuts off Zodds other horn and rapes him with it.

Post by **Devil_Dante** » Sat May 14, 2005 12:36 am

oh dear

, that sounded sick.

+1

Post by **Buzkashi** » Sat May 14, 2005 6:41 am

God griffith isnt gay. Serpico .....maybe...

Post by **MrFelony** » Sun May 15, 2005 5:21 am

MrFelony wrote:actually you have it wrong. Guts is Slan and SK's son while Griffith is Void's and Gaiseric's daughter. and that little child on the beach isnt Casca and Guts' son. it is actually Guts and Griffith's son. you see Casca was made infetile from being raped by all those demons previous to Femto raping her, thus aborting Guts and her child. however, there was some of Guts' sperm remaining in her system...hey they were just reunited shortly before...

But back to my theory (if you cant already see where this is going). the aborted baby of Guts and Casca was still trapped in the womb however. but when Femto was raping Casca, she (femto) just happened to have a reversible vagina (sort of like those reversible jackets if anyone knows what im talking about), and when he was raping her, she (femto) inserted her eggs. these eggs then got together with guts sperm and battled it out like Guts and Griffith would today if they ever actually get around to it. after their dual, Guts' sperm won because they 1)are Guts and 2) have a sword/tail to fight with... but during the fighting they rekindled the love/friendship that guts and griffith held during their good old days and combined to become a child.

What the unexpected result was that the aborted baby then melded with this newly forming fetus, thus creating the ugly baby. it wasn't evil or demonic, just had an aborted fetus that got thown onto its body. Seriously, if you had a fetus on your face/body you would look a little f'd up to. Since the G&G (guts and griffith) baby was born so early, it also retained the fetal appearance. however, when this fetus on fetus baby was eaten by the egg apostle, femto assumed the aborted child as his body, only appropriate, while G&G's child was transformed into a normal boy, just like ponochio, last seen on the beach.

and this another of my famous stupid theories

Casca is cured. however she thinks she is an apostle and tries to kill Guts but guts still loves her and ties her down. Shierke, jealous of Guts' love for casca sleeps wiht isidoro to get his attention and becomes pregnant. Shierke kills casca a week after she was "restored" and then uses her magic to get him to think isidoro did it, thus his short life being ended in Gut's rage. In a night of depression, guts takes solace in the only thing he can, Farnese, but has to kill Serpico because he vowed to kill Guts after he desecrated Farnese's holy nether regions...twice... with Serpico dead, Farnese flees, leaving Guts only with Shierke and the 2 elves. with nothing else left to comfort him but little old shierke, he is forced to go to her. 6 months later, Shierke and Isidoro's baby is prematurely born due to Shierke's constant magic abuse. the baby looks like a half elven baby with downs syndrome. She passes it off as GUt's. With this, Guts finally gives up chasing after Griffith for good. 18 years later, Gut's and Griffith's baby meet Shierke and Isidoro's. they fall in love at first sight. oh what an ugly sight it is.

******************************DOUBLE POST*********************************
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Hollywood hotshots finally decide to make a movie out of Berserk. they cast Arnold Schwarzenegger as Guts and Halley Barry as Casca

just postin some of my old goodies the first (or second was already thought of in DP though i didnt know that at the time). just thought some of the older ones that wouldnt be read as much should be dusted off...well since they are mine

Post by **Arresty** » Sun May 15, 2005 4:06 pm

Devil_Dante wrote:Now that they live together, Griffith will search for work to make a living, and Zodd does all the chores. He learns how to cook and shit like that .

How dare you say that.

Griffith woudl be the bitch in the relationship, do the housework and whatnot. Also Zodd would never take it, Griffith is always the catcher.

Post by **MrFelony** » Mon May 16, 2005 4:26 am

haha that just made me picture Berserk the baseball team. guts is at bat, griffith is the catcher and Zodd is the Pitcher. Puck can be the Coach and Isidoro is the mascot (a monkey).

Post by **Necromancer** » Mon May 16, 2005 8:01 pm

Puck as a couch omg, those poor players. He's an cheering, screaming pain in the neck.

Post by **misuru** » Mon May 16, 2005 9:12 pm

would guts use his sword or just a ridiculously huge bat?

Post by **MrFelony** » Tue May 17, 2005 4:36 pm

ahh a new theory, the reason why Guts' sword is so effective is because it is CORKED! but with a large long bat not actual cork (like Sammy Sosa was caught with), thus he would use the corking material as his bat.

Double post

anyone ever read the Elric Saga and see the similarities between Elric and Guts?

Elric:
-Dark anti-hero: does good but a lot of evil in the end (often against his own will)
-has a bad ass sword: though his sword has a mind of its own and is inherently evil
-is given energy and sustained by sword
-is hated by some loved by others, though mostly hated
-is bad ass at battle, has killed over hundreds of people in one sitting

Guts:
-Dark anti-hero: does a lot of good, is softening up from his hard image from the beginning of the manga, but considered evil by majority of world
-has a bad ass sword: has Dragon Slayer, has implied magical properties though unknown
-Is given enrgy and sustained by Berserker Armor and Puck's healing abilities
is also hated by many (the church), mainling feared, but loved by aselect few
-also bad ass in battle

dont feel like making more connections if you read the books you probably see the similarities and if you havent read the books DO IT!...NOW!

:p

Post by **misuru** » Tue May 17, 2005 5:53 pm

Zodd is a not-so-distant relative of the Balrog.

Post by **Sandman** » Tue May 17, 2005 6:11 pm

The dragon slayer probably has a special ore in the core of the sword that makes it easier to wield.

Here is one.... the dragon slayer shatters revieling its true form a six foot long broard sword, made from the ore Godo mined from the fairy cave, that will cut through demon kind and not let them regenerate. It will be strong enough to cut through anything demonic.

Post by **misuru** » Tue May 17, 2005 6:15 pm

if the core was so powerful, why would it be covered with anything...

Post by **Sandman** » Tue May 17, 2005 6:26 pm

It is being refined by the those it slays it is not up to it potential. And I don't think it will be until the final battle till it is.

Post by **MrFelony** » Tue May 17, 2005 6:29 pm

actually its just Guts is too stupid to realize that he has been using the actual sword sheathed. It isnt until the final battle that Goto comes back to him in the form of a cloud (much like lion king) and tells him "Guts you idiot, take oofff the sheeaaath" and dissapears for evveeerrrr

Post by **misuru** » Tue May 17, 2005 7:10 pm

and Guts falls on his knees and cries "Father! Don't leeaaave meeee" and runs across an African savanna?

Post by **Sandman** » Tue May 17, 2005 9:47 pm

You took it a little to far but you have a point... Godo could be Guts's father!!!!! Does Godo have pointy ears?

Post by **Necromancer** » Tue May 17, 2005 10:09 pm

Godo is a dwarf, didn't he say so, when he told Guts the story how he found Erica? Guts is much too big to be the son of a dwarf.

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Berserk Stupid theories

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