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Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 3:45 am
by The Herald
The godhand are really aliens and they will take you away to the wonderful planet Wunderlund if you give them your life savings.

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 1:15 am
by Istvan
The Herald wrote:The godhand are really aliens and they will take you away to the wonderful planet Wunderlund if you give them your life savings.
Aliens? That could be dangerous. There might be anal probes or something.

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 4:55 am
by War Machine
Don't mess with aliens and their probes:


Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Wed Oct 22, 2008 5:28 am
by The Herald
maybe that's what that pointy apendage they almost got casca with in the great eclipse. you see, that eclipse was them transporting you to another planet. but it wasn't wunderlund, it was craplund, the one you have to go to before, kinda like a ladder.

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 8:49 pm
by hbi2k
I was rereading Vol. 26 recently, and noticed something I hadn't before-- that when Slan shows up out of the troll intestines, she mentions that the other members of the God Hand "likely melted into their preferred Sephira." According to Wikipedia, "Sephira" is the plural of "Sephirot," ten attributes of God through which He manifests himself in the physical and metaphysical universes (more here).

But wait? Ten Sephira, but only five God Hand members? My stupid theory of the day: there's another God Hand with an additional five members out there somewhere. After all, why shouldn't God have two hands?

Alternate theory: since a new God Hand member is only created during the Great Eclipse once every 216 years, and Griffith is the fifth member of the God Hand, that means that God is only halfway through manifesting His hands. In another 1,080 years, both of God's hands will be complete, and He will finally be able to do what He always wanted: clap along to the song "If You're Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands." This would also explain why the world of Berserk is such a shithole: because God is not happy yet, not being able to clap His hands.

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:00 pm
by War Machine
hbi2k wrote:My stupid theory of the day: there's another God Hand with an additional five members out there somewhere. After all, why shouldn't God have two hands?
God Penis!

... Then again, God might not have one.

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 3:11 am
by The Herald
Maybe the other five members are good, to balance out the evil of the godhand already presented in Berserk.

In any case, without two hands, how can God hold the whole world in his hands? (if you don't know this reference, remember back to your childhood or hang out with a relative's little kids).

[spoiler]It's Raffi. Now, you may say that that's even a little too weird even for me, but I went to his concert when I was 9 and can't forget anything from it, just like any other concert I've ever been too. Luckily I have Metallica and Incubus to drown out 'Baby Beluga'[/spoiler]

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 11:07 pm
by Istvan
The Herald wrote:Maybe the other five members are good, to balance out the evil of the godhand already presented in Berserk.

In any case, without two hands, how can God hold the whole world in his hands? (if you don't know this reference, remember back to your childhood or hang out with a relative's little kids).

[spoiler]It's Raffi. Now, you may say that that's even a little too weird even for me, but I went to his concert when I was 9 and can't forget anything from it, just like any other concert I've ever been too. Luckily I have Metallica and Incubus to drown out 'Baby Beluga'[/spoiler]
Or maybe (compared to the other God's Hand) the ones we've already seen are the "good" God's Hand, and Guts is going to have to find himself working with Griffith in order to stop the horror that this other God's Hand plans. Griffith is only trying to conquer the world so he can save it from their nefarious plans.

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 5:33 am
by The Herald
Nah, I think that all of the horror created by these apostles of this godhand proves that it's evil.

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 6:23 pm
by dialdfordesi
Wait wait, God Hand? God penis?

Oh man, with their powers combined there will be a force that nobody could stop.

God cum.

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 11:10 pm
by Istvan
The Herald wrote:Nah, I think that all of the horror created by these apostles of this godhand proves that it's evil.
That's why I said "compared to the other God's Hand" they're the good ones. For example, what if Ganshika is one of the Apostles created by the other GH, and all of that GH's Apostles are like him?

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 3:34 am
by lon3vvolf
Just popping in here for a second. I think Zangief from Street Fighter might be a descendant of Gats. That guy is a TANK in street fighter 4, and he looks like he could lift the DS too.

This brings up a question that might stir up this thread a bit... anyone ever see any videogame/movie/manga/etc character that has any resemblance to Berserk characters? Hmmm maybe I should make 'people who look like people from Berserk' thread. :D

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 10:19 pm
by Rolos
As a movie once revealed, god is a man. (I don't remember it's title, but since it was made by a Hollywood based studio it should be clear that EVERYTHING it contained was true)

True men only need one hand. Why?



PD:

Image

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Thu Apr 23, 2009 12:38 am
by Shizuka
Then Guts must have kids then ... I like that theory. Wait, that freaky lump of flesh with one eye is his kid isn't it ....

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Sat Apr 25, 2009 4:17 am
by The Herald
yeah, but he appeared again as a human kid after that lump of flesh was used to make the current griffith. that chapter was both cute and bizarre. he'll probably appear again on skellig.

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Sat Apr 25, 2009 9:59 pm
by Istvan
The Herald wrote:yeah, but he appeared again as a human kid after that lump of flesh was used to make the current griffith. that chapter was both cute and bizarre. he'll probably appear again on skellig.
That's one theory, anyway. Bear in mind, no one (besides Miura) really knows the identity of that child they meet on the beach; it's just speculation that it is Guts' and Caska's child.

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 5:08 am
by The Herald
Yeah, but we all know it's highly likely that it's Guts and Casca's kid. I mean, c'mon, what else would it be? Didn't they teach you that backwards sort of logic in math class ... which my dumbass self can't remember what it's called because I'm a costume major. :stupid:

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Wed May 06, 2009 6:48 am
by War Machine
A new thought I thought I'd share:

In the Berserk world, some monsters are born out of the fear people have in superstitious monsters, right? In that case, wouldn't Gut's dog monster be a conception from the idea people have of him?

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 5:37 pm
by BigSassy
The Herald wrote:Yeah, but we all know it's highly likely that it's Guts and Casca's kid. I mean, c'mon, what else would it be? Didn't they teach you that backwards sort of logic in math class ... which my dumbass self can't remember what it's called because I'm a costume major. :stupid:
I recently re-read those chapters on the beach, and it got me thinking. Why couldn't that child be the offspring of Caska and Griffith? Was it ever established that Caska was pregnant with Guts' child?

Seriously, why couldn't it be Griffith's child?

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 5:49 pm
by Turd Ferguson
BigSassy wrote:
The Herald wrote:Yeah, but we all know it's highly likely that it's Guts and Casca's kid. I mean, c'mon, what else would it be? Didn't they teach you that backwards sort of logic in math class ... which my dumbass self can't remember what it's called because I'm a costume major. :stupid:
I recently re-read those chapters on the beach, and it got me thinking. Why couldn't that child be the offspring of Caska and Griffith? Was it ever established that Caska was pregnant with Guts' child?

Seriously, why couldn't it be Griffith's child?
I believe that Skull Knight does indeed confirm that the child Caska gave birth to is Guts', and it has been tainted by Femto's demon semen.

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 8:56 pm
by BigSassy
Turd Ferguson wrote:
BigSassy wrote:
The Herald wrote:Yeah, but we all know it's highly likely that it's Guts and Casca's kid. I mean, c'mon, what else would it be? Didn't they teach you that backwards sort of logic in math class ... which my dumbass self can't remember what it's called because I'm a costume major. :stupid:
I recently re-read those chapters on the beach, and it got me thinking. Why couldn't that child be the offspring of Caska and Griffith? Was it ever established that Caska was pregnant with Guts' child?

Seriously, why couldn't it be Griffith's child?
I believe that Skull Knight does indeed confirm that the child Caska gave birth to is Guts', and it has been tainted by Femto's demon semen.
Oh that's right. I couldn't remember if the "Femto's demon seed perverted Gut's and Caska's Child" theory was born on these forums or if it was official cannon.

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 10:14 pm
by Dokuro no Kishi
The skull knight is Guts and Griffith's biological father. Why do you think their last names were never mentioned?

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Sun May 10, 2009 4:45 am
by hbi2k
Turd Ferguson wrote:
BigSassy wrote:
The Herald wrote:Yeah, but we all know it's highly likely that it's Guts and Casca's kid. I mean, c'mon, what else would it be? Didn't they teach you that backwards sort of logic in math class ... which my dumbass self can't remember what it's called because I'm a costume major. :stupid:
I recently re-read those chapters on the beach, and it got me thinking. Why couldn't that child be the offspring of Caska and Griffith? Was it ever established that Caska was pregnant with Guts' child?

Seriously, why couldn't it be Griffith's child?
I believe that Skull Knight does indeed confirm that the child Caska gave birth to is Guts', and it has been tainted by Femto's demon semen.
I love the fact that Paternity Test Vision is apparently one of the super powers SK got (presumably) from the Berserk Armour.

It's probably one of those things better taken at face value than thought about too deeply. (-:

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Mon May 11, 2009 4:14 am
by The Herald
In the anime there's no time between their night together and the eclipse, but in the manga it suggests that there could be. The fetus is developed enough (excluding the whole demon thing) to suggest that it is Guts' child and not Griffith's. Plus the whole Skull Knight thing too. He's deus ex machina, he's not supposed to be explained thoroughly.

Re: Berserk Stupid theories

Posted: Mon May 11, 2009 2:17 pm
by eldur
In some way that kid is Caska, Gatts and Griffith son.
Well, that can be wrong if Griffith got his dikk cut off in that jail (yeah another treasure for that pervert). In that case the third parent is Femto, created with the blood of all the hawks....
Wait... In that case Caska got pregnant of ALL of the hawks DNA!!! So Judeau is still alive in this child!!!!!