You know you've read too much berserk when...

Post by **ucrzymofo87** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 2:43 am

if guts were in the passion of the christ...lol. could u imagine what he would have done to those roman soldiers...?

Post by **Sortep** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 3:32 am

someone should write a book or at least a webpage similiar to similiar to the Bruce Campell (from army of darkness fame) book "how to make love like bruce campbell" however it should be a couple of books... "How To Make Love Like Guts" or "Business The Berserk Way" etc maybe a website or such.... maybe even an omake....

Post by **psi29a** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 3:39 am

Sortep wrote:someone should write a book or at least a webpage similiar to similiar to the Bruce Campell (from army of darkness fame) book "how to make love like bruce campbell" however it should be a couple of books... "How To Make Love Like Guts" or "Business The Berserk Way" etc maybe a website or such.... maybe even an omake....

You make it, I'll host it.

Post by **Sortep** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 4:27 am

psi29a wrote:
Sortep wrote:someone should write a book or at least a webpage similiar to similiar to the Bruce Campell (from army of darkness fame) book "how to make love like bruce campbell" however it should be a couple of books... "How To Make Love Like Guts" or "Business The Berserk Way" etc maybe a website or such.... maybe even an omake....
You make it, I'll host it.

i suppose i should get started

Post by **k3mikal** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 7:52 am

Sortep wrote:
psi29a wrote:
Sortep wrote:someone should write a book or at least a webpage similiar to similiar to the Bruce Campell (from army of darkness fame) book "how to make love like bruce campbell" however it should be a couple of books... "How To Make Love Like Guts" or "Business The Berserk Way" etc maybe a website or such.... maybe even an omake....
You make it, I'll host it.
i suppose i should get started

let me know if i can help in any way !

Post by **Sortep** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 6:34 pm

k3mikal wrote: let me know if i can help in any way !

just pm me about any topics you think guts should address

Post by **MrFelony** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 7:39 pm

heh i wonder how Guts would have handled the glorious revolution. or what the "hostile takeover" section of Guts' business book would talk about. but i think a berserk and alien/predator crossover would be bad ass. a young, surgically altered arnold could play guts heh (though i think a really buff christian bale could).

cooking with guts, i would love the section on chopping or fileting shit.
gardening with guts
pest control
guts on religion (he could address child molestors)
camping with guts...though im thinking the average person would need a little more than just a black cape...

Post by **Skullkracker** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 9:42 pm

-Guts's way of handling a hostage situation
-how to travel light, yet have the right tools for self defence
-child-care the Berserk way (oh I'm an such an animal)
-tips on gentle sex, aka how to make your first time memorable

Post by **TheDarkness** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 10:56 pm

-Branding and how to do it yourself
-100 ways to kill a soldier
-How to dress bad-ass in black

Post by **Necromancer** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 5:02 am

TheDarkness wrote:-How to dress bad-ass in black

Some good advices would be cool, I always dress in black but I don't look badass.

-How to get Slan to love you

Post by **Skullkracker** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 7:43 am

Necromancer wrote:
TheDarkness wrote:-How to dress bad-ass in black
Some good advices would be cool, I always dress in black but I don't look badass.

Save it for the winter!
I can't wait for the weather to be cold enough for me to put my black leather jacket on again. (it's Africa outside,

like a squirrel in a forest fire)

how about:

- Puck's guide to spotting an apostle in your neighbourhood
- Caska's tips on turning men's heads
- Play with matches: Farnaze's lexicon of sexual deviancies
+ Barbeque party with Farnaze
- You had your eyes closed!: Serpicio's idea of effective fighting techniques
- Griffith: how to deal with politics

Post by **Sortep** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 2:41 pm

wow i didn't expect so much response... anyhow if anyone has absolutely any suggestion for this page from now on please pm me or email it to me at DaNotoriousTros@gmail.com that way we can keep the thread on topic... btw credit will be given fr any suggestions that make it to the page

it will be about a week before i have the first version of the page up... i have to finish mastering this album so i can pay some bills...

on topic: you know you've read too much berserk when you're working on a fan page about hypothetical guts handlings of varied situations not related to berserk

Post by **Skullkracker** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 7:36 pm

you've read too much Berserk when your right eye is significantly weaker than the left (poor me)

Post by **TheDarkness** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 8:30 pm

you bleaching a very small spot of your hair just above your right eye

Post by **Necromancer** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 8:33 pm

Skullkracker wrote:
Necromancer wrote:
TheDarkness wrote:-How to dress bad-ass in black
Some good advices would be cool, I always dress in black but I don't look badass.
Save it for the winter!
I can't wait for the weather to be cold enough for me to put my black leather jacket on again. (it's Africa outside, like a squirrel in a forest fire)

I wear my black leather jacket in summer time and in winter I just wear t-shirts.

Hehe and my left Eye is weaker than my right one. I don't sleep much and some few times my left eye gets sleepy while the rest of the body doesn't.

Post by **Sortep** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 4:21 am

you know you've read too much berserk when you watch army of darkness and wonder how much berserk ash must've read...

Post by **Skullkracker** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 8:21 am

Necromancer wrote:
Skullkracker wrote:
Necromancer wrote:Some good advices would be cool, I always dress in black but I don't look badass.
Save it for the winter!
I can't wait for the weather to be cold enough for me to put my black leather jacket on again. (it's Africa outside, like a squirrel in a forest fire)
I wear my black leather jacket in summer time and in winter I just wear t-shirts.

and I thought I was weird

EDIT: or is it the global warming?

Post by **TheDarkness** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 10:50 am

Sortep wrote:you know you've read too much berserk when you watch army of darkness and wonder how much berserk ash must've read...

Gutts with a chainsaw???? That would be sweet!

You know you've read too much berserk when you watch Dawn of the Dead and hope that gutts pops up for one of his patented killing sprees

Post by **Sortep** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 3:31 pm

you know you read too much berserk if after the newest release of berserk you pop in braveheart and try to imagine guts in the battles to continue the berserk high

Post by **Skullkracker** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 4:00 pm

I'd rather put Guts in Alien Versus Predator.Then sit back and see who survives him. (noone)

"Whoever wins, they lose"

Post by **Sortep** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 4:25 pm

i'd like to see all the users from narutofan in a particularly bloody chapter of berserk

Post by **Skullkracker** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 4:53 pm

from what I've heard here narutofan must be n00b-land

Post by **LordMune** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 5:30 pm

It is.

Post by **MrFelony** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 6:02 pm

check out the "worst thread ever" they have a forum for vs threads which in my opinion, is a good thing over there, because since they dont ban them, it at least allows for a place to concentrate them. and i used camma's liberally there

Post by **Artezul** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 7:12 pm

It might help keep the clutter out of all the other subforums, but that would just encourage more people to think about VS threads. Eventually it might grow into a breeding ground for idiocy that spreads to the rest of the forum causing mass hysteria, panic, and eventually become a wild fire of apocalyptic genocide.

Evil Genius

You know you've read too much berserk when...

Is this too dumb of a thread to let live?