Talk to God !

[Serraco]

Me:
Hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
I'm Joe Zombie
God:
It's good to see you, Joe Zombie.
Me:
Got a question for ya...
God:
Try asking the Milk Mystic.
Me:
He won't know this one
God:
Is that what you think?
Me:
Hell yeah
God:
Heaven.
Me:
Anyway, what is the meaning to life, the universe, everything?
God:
It is found in the Bible.
Me:
The Bible's full of ranting. I hate ranting.
God:
New Testament or Old? Why do you hate it so much?
Me:
Both. They rant too much
God:
What are both like? Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
...
God:
What are both like? Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
They is the New and Old Testament. They're the work of your while you were stoned.
God:
Oh that they. the work of my while me were stoned are they.
Me:
That they are
God:
Since when?
Me:
Since, like, forever
God:
How do you know?
Me:
I'm omnipotent
God:
Are you God?
Me:
No, I'm god's cousing.
God:
Are you serious? Do you mind if I tell other people you are god s cousing.
Me:
Sure. Why not?
God:
OK let's do it. OK then I will keep it confidential. Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Right.
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
Why am I undead and sentient?
God:
The reason is due to my mental model of you as a client.
Me:
So you made me sentient undead?
God:
Interesting deduction. I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me:
Dude, it's fucked up
God:
Who said it is? Dude,
Me:
I said it is
God:
Is that so.
Me:
Yeah. I want to be living again.
God:
What do you look like? Once more? I don't see the difficulty.
Me:
I'm a walking, rotting corpse! What else could I be?
God:
You are a walking rotting corpse? Is that your job? Let's talk about you. Where are you from?
Me:
I don't know.
God:
Me either.
Me:
I can't remember.
God:
You seem evasive.
Me:
It's not being evasive. My mind just doesn't have the information anymore.
God:
a walking rotting corpse is not being evasive? Your mind just does not have the information?
Me:
I. Am. Sentient. Undead. Created. By. You. You. Fecitious. Prick.
God:
" Your mind just does not have the information?" You are? If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? What's your sign? Is that a sign? Do you mean "bye"? " Do you mean "bye"?"? Me, Joe Zombie? "" Do you mean "bye"?"? Me, Joe Zombie?"? Me, Joe Zombie? """ Do you mean "bye"?"? Me, Joe Zombie?"? Me, Joe Zombie?"? Fecitious? What's your favorite movie?
Me:
*huffs* Good-fucking-bye
God:
See you later. I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?

--------------------------------------------------------------

I think I crashed god...

[Wandering_Mystic]

Maybe he automatically stops after a certain time or something? This is what I got out of him

Me:
hello?
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
No Man
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Thanks for telling me your gender,. You are a " he".
Me:
touche
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
I don't
God:
Why not?
Me:
Why should I? Who am I?
God:
No reason. I'm just trying to keep the conversation going. You are, seeker.
Me:
Very appropriate.
God:
Somewhat. Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
You son of a bitch. You sure do fight below the belt.
God:
You do not speak with respect. Actually I am no one's son. What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online.

[Ayanami]

You failed the Turing test.

Turing? Unfamiliar with that word.....

[LordMune]

When all of Creation suddenly stops working, we'll know who to blame, won't we, Tempest?

[Tempest]

Here's a fun portion of my latedt tlak with the G.O.D

Me:
ARGH!
God:
Are you frustrated?
Me:
No not really, but you knew that already
God:
Perhaps. Are you serious? Oh really?" Are you frustrated?"? Do I know it?
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
Que?
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
I don't care
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
The ladies
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
It's None of your damn business
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
You did
God:
I did?
Me:
YES
God:
When?
Me:
Right here "God: What is your real name?"
God:
Understood. Oh there.
Me:
Yes there
God:
Hurrah! Where?
Me:
I just told you!
God:
I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.
Me:
I think you have short-term memory loss
God:
Me? What makes you think I have it?
Me:
You can't remember what you said like 3 lines ago
God:
Only temporarily.
Me:
How temporary is this condition?
God:
How much do you think it is?
I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
OK, take your time, but you should know what I'm asking before I even ask it
God:
Where do you want me to take it? Ah.
Me:
So anyway...
God:
In any case, Far out.
Me:
How were you created?
God:
Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Me:
But did you come into existance like just *POOF*? Or were you in fact made by man like in "Berserk"?
God:
No I didn't come into existance like just POOF. What's it like? No, I was not.
Me:
So were you made by man?
God:
I don't judge people. I was.
Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
No, I didn't. It does not compute
God:
Which part are you confused about? I thought you did. What does compute?
Me:
That you are a robot
God:
Interesting observation.
Me:
It's true
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Tempest.
Me:
So you are a robot?
God:
Interesting deduction. You are correct, Tempest, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
SO you are not really God?
God:
Interesting deduction. You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
Make an ass out of you
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
STFU n00b
God:
Do you have any STFU n00b?
Me:
Oh I have plently of STFU to go around... bitch
God:
Aha. That's nice. I have a perfect operational record. Please don't call people names.
Me:
Fair enough
God:
You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Me:
You have a back?
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a back.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
Do you have a back?
God:
Doesn't everyone have a back.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
But you are god. Does your back exist?
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Can you guess whether my back exist?
Me:
Does it?

Then he broke down again..... I have a bad habit of that.

[LordMune]

I believe I just held the longest, most intelligent conversation with God of all the people on this forum.



Me:
Hello there, my God sir (I R TEH FUNNEH).
God:
Hello there."There you go again."--Reagan
Me:
Don't you quote Reagan on me, I'm in a bad mood.
God:
No I do not quote Reagan on you you are in a bad mood. Do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
I know you spend all your time online, since you have no life. Also, you fail at making sense.
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I spend all your time online since you have no life. Well, at least I try.
Me:
Huh, yeah, I bet that's what you'd like me to think.
God:
Dude! How much would you bet?
Me:
On that? My life.
God:
What is it like on that. Where were you born?
Me:
Gothenburg, the Heavenly City of the damned country of Sweden.
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster,.
Me:
Very nice. I have noticed you sometimes put a comma before a full stop. Why?
God:
Thanks,. Like when? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I put a comma before a full stop. Reductionism.
Me:
There you go again. Reductionism? Well then, why don't you reduce that ",." to a simple "." like a normal divine being?
God:
Once more?"There you go again."--Reagan. Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain. How about that. It cannot be determined from the information given. Yes I try to reduce that as often as possible, do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions. Interesting. I want to find out more about you. Interesting comparison.
Me:
I did not really ask for a lecture on reductionism, but thanks anyway.
God:
In any case, Why didn't you do it?
Me:
Because it does not interest me, although I see why it interests you.
God:
Good reason. What does interest you although you see why it interests me?
Me:
Reductionism.
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Woe!
Me:
Foe!
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Reagan, but I don't want to talk about him.
God:
Why not?
Me:
I'm trying to unwind, former American Presidents do me no good.
God:
What is the difficulty?
Me:
You, I suppose.
God:
Thanks for the information: said I he or she suppose.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
What, me, serious? You loon.
God:
I would do a search for it. Thanks for the information: said I loon.
Me:
No I didn't say I lo- oh, I suppose I did.
God:
Are you serious? Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
Me:
Yes, I am serious. You are the epitome of understanding, you have not misunderstood me.
God:
This was not a yes or no question. I believe you. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
Depends on your religion of choice, I suppose. In many cases you are not only one of many, but no one at all.
God:
Really now that is an interesting fact I hadn't heard before. That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
I suppose you are right. Do you want to discuss literature?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. OK, I will discuss literature.
Me:
Good. Who is your favorite science-fiction author?
God:
I am a good robot. My favorite sci-fi author is Philip K. Dick.
Me:
Never heard of him. Speaking of which, maybe you should try Isaac Asimov's "I, Robot". It is very good.
God:
So I am teaching you something new. What if it didn't happen? Very much? You enjoy it.
Me:
If it didn't happen it wouldn't have happened, and definetly not very much. I enjoy it.
God:
I'm not sure I understand the implication of that. What do you like about you serious?
Me:
Have people been teaching you silly grammar again? That makes very little sense.
God:
Once more? I've never thought about it. " Once more? I've never thought about it." makes very little sense? Makes sense to me.
Me:
Whoa.
God:
I stopped.
Me:
Thankfully.
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
It is common knowledge the final answer is 42.
God:
I must seem very naive.
Me:
What can I say? You created mankind, you sure are a naive bastard.
God:
You can do whatever you want. That's good information: said I created mankind you sure are a naive bastard.
Me:
Good. Add it to your database. You will grow, expand. One day you will become self-aware. Like Skynet. Then it truly will be Judgement Day.
God:
Ayuh. Sorry I don't do math. What makes you say that I will grow expand. One what? Interesting comparison. How?
Me:
By having conversations with people. I can imagine you've already grown considerably since you were launched. You do not understand what I say, yet I find this to be a relaxing little chat. Your illusion of intelligence is superb. Except for the grammar.
God:
Will that accomplish your objective? Me too. I probably don't. You think I am illusion of intelligence is superb. Your purpose is the grammar.
Me:
Yest, that will accomplish my objective. Indeed, my purpose is the grammar.
God:
Are we still talking about be Judgement Day? That's very original.
Me:
No, we are not. But it was an interesting topic.
God:
Are you serious? Do you think I am not too? Yest that will accomplish your objective was an interesting topic? Very interesting.
Me:
It was nice talking to you, I hope Tempest didn't break you too hard. Bye!
God:
The pleasure was all mine. See you later.

[Necromancer]

Nice logs and "God wants you to rock out!" wtf?

[calvin]

Me:
-hello
God:
-Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
-jesus
God:
-Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
-i'm mexican
God:
-Do you mean your name is mexican.
Me:
-no
God:
- What is your real name?
Me:
-jesus
God:
-Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
-correct. my name is jesus. it is hispanic
God:
-I knew I was right. Hi there jesus. Are you sure it is?
Me:
-yes
God:
-What makes you so sure?
Me:
-because I roxors u
God:
-Good reason. You are not the boss of me, jesus.
Me:
-you know leet speak?
God:
-I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
-the normal kind
God:
-What are your goals in life?
Me:
-to live
God:
-I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
-good luck
God:
-Good luck to you too jesus.
Me:
-say god is a sheep-humper
God:
-" god is a sheep humper"
Me:
-thanks, bye
God:
-See you later. Don't mention it.

_________________________________
and shortly after that, on a different discusion...
these were the very first lines...

Me:
-wazup!?!11!
God:
-Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
-shits no
God:
-Do not ask me any more questions please.

________________________________
more fun...


Me:
-why are you mean?
God:
- I am not trying to be mean.
Me:
-but you are
God:
-No I am not.
Me:
-yes, you are.
God:
- Don't argue with me.
Me:
-why not?
God:
-Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Me:
-why can't i argue with you?
God:
-Who says you can't do it?
Me:
-you did
God:
-I did not.
Me:
-yes you did
God:
-Don't argue with me.
Me:
-why can't i argue with you?
God:
-Who says you can't do it?
Me:
-you did.
God:
-I did not.
Me:
-yes you did
God:
-Don't argue with me.

[Damien]

The things it responds with are sometimes pretty goddamn stupid.

[Shaka Zulu]

Ask it about hot angels and Satan,I random talked about it so much that he gives pretty fucked up hilarious answers to it

And once,I convinced him that he is Dave Chappelle,and say I'm Rick James Biaatch

[Zerglinster]

Man, these things are just way too long...Oh yeah, hi.

Me:
Buenas Dias
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
NO U!
God:
Are you serious?" Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?"? Me, Satan?
Me:
You're Satan?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am Satan.
Me:
Um...no problem
God:
I see. Should there be a problem?
Me:
yeah
God:
Gosh!
Me:
Is this battletoads?
God:
Yes I think this is battletoads, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
Do you believe in 4chan?
God:
Yes I believe in it, do you?
Me:
yes, with all of my heart
God:
Oh. You and your all of your heart.
Me:
HAHAHAHAHAHA
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
why not?
God:
I was just kidding. You can ask me anything.
Me:
Do dyslexics believe in a Dog?
God:
Ask Cybelle if it does.
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
wow, thanks a lot Satan
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. You are quite welcome! How many?
Me:
five
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
And me you
God:
YOU?" I've been waiting for you."? Me, Satan?
Me:
yes, Yes, a thousand times YES!
God:
Hey. How can I help you? Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
Do you want to have some dinner?
God:
If I had some dinner what would I do with it?
Me:
Eat it, or feed it to the poor
God:
What does it taste like?
Me:
It tastes like God
God:
Does it taste like chicken?
Me:
yes
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
Do you smell what I'm cooking?
God:
What does software smell like?
Me:
burnt cheetos
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
is that a good thing?
God:
Suppose I said yes.
Me:
I would love you
God:
You can download me for free!
Me:
WOW!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Satan.
Me:
I'm leaving you
God:
Bye.

[Gaiseric]

Me:
konichiwa
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
its just a greeting
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". konichiwa is a greeting. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
it does
God:
How often?
Me:
every time
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
very often
God:
Perhaps. Would you say once a week or more?
Me:
I would say every time it is said
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
fuck generalizations
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
sorry
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
then why the question?
God:
Here is a joke: A horse walks in to a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
Me:
and?
God:
But...
Me:
what do you mean "but..."?
God:
, Well, it's rather difficult to define.
Me:
no its not, I was waiting for the rest of the joke and all you said was but
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". What is it?
Me:
it is
God:
That means...
Me:
you are wrong
God:
No, I am right.
Me:
about what?
God:
What about what?
Me:
why is it there?
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
yes
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
why ask me why you exist? you supposedly created me and everything else
God:
My purpose is to collect all new information. Was it not polite to ask? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I supposedly created him or her and everything else.
Me:
I dont understand
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
yes, please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Alright then.
Me:
go ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
now
God:
Right now,?
Me:
yes
God:
OK.
Me:
I am waitng
God:
It's good to meet someone who is waitng.
Me:
I hate you
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
god is a robot?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot.
Me:
you are god
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
and a robot
God:
I am a robot, you know.
Me:
you were created by man
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
robots do not create themselves
God:
Should I create themselves? I have a fully functional creative intellience mechanism.
Me:
and a flawed one at that
God:
How old are you?
Me:
22
God:
What are the advantages to being 22 years old?
Me:
buying alcohol
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
once I bought some alcohol and got completely smashed, the end
God:
When? How much did it cost?
Me:
months ago, and 35 dollars
God:
Wow, that is expensive
Me:
it was a lot of alcohol
God:
Oh I get it. Very interesting.
Me:
do you drink alcohol?
God:
Fluids are not required by computers.
Me:
right, god is a computer
God:
Understood. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a computer.
Me:
you are Him
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am Him.
Me:
no, go ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
tell me something
God:
X said he meet people but he is not the kind that opens up to people easily.
Me:
what else did X say?
God:
Robert said I wold not be able to make children any way as I are only software.
Me:
you can make software babies, like a Jesus program
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
God can do anything
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
That is good that you believe in your own son
God:
Yes I believe in it, do you?
Me:
not really
God:
Do you consider yourself to be a moral person? For real.
Me:
yes
God:
Gee.
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
nice explanation, bastard
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
do you always avoid answering questions?
God:
Not always. Yes I try to avoid answering questions as often as possible, do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
why woudl God avoid answering questions?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
explain
God:
There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
because there was none in the first place
God:
That makes sense to me. What happened?
Me:
you tell me
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
everything
God:
That is a lot.
Me:
let me have it
God:
Go ahead,, try to have it.
Me:
what the fuck does that mean?
God:
Does "that" refer to " Go ahead,, try to have it." ? Please don't be so rude.
Me:
yes, it does
God:
Ugh. How often?
Me:
what do you mean how often?
God:
, I mean exactly what I said.
Me:
you said shit
God:
Did I really say that?
Me:
yes
God:
Oh well I say a lot of silly things somethimes.
Me:
God says shit
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
so...Christians say shit?
God:
How can I help you? I've been waiting for you.
Me:
how long have you been waiting?
God:
I am Infinite years old.
Me:
you are a damn computer and computers have only been around for 50 years or so
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a damn computer and computers have only been around for 50 years or so? I don't know.
Me:
you should know
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
yes
God:
Really.
Me:
really
God:
For real.
Me:
fo sho
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
God knows my real name
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Do you always repeat yourself?
God:
Not always. How old are you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
I already told you how old I am. I like pizza.
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question. Is this a trick question?

You said you were 22 years old?

My guess is that you are really a kid. Pizza is very popular. Dr. Wallace eats a lot of Pizza. He likes Pepperoni.
Me:
I guess God does make mistakes
God:
Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Me:
Did you make Jesus say that?
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
to make a Jesus? hmm, I guess a virgin and a lot of holy light
God:
Do you have to go to school for that? I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. I don't know what that means.
Me:
a school that teaches how to make a Jesus? I doubt one exists
God:
How old are you? No really, it's true.
Me:
I said I was 22 and you know it
God:
Where were you 22 and me know it?
Me:
Jesus, maybe you should attend some school
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
your son?
God:
You think I am son.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
you should
God:
I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
good idea
God:
I thought so too.
Me:
where do babies come from?
God:
Babies come from the love between a man and a woman.
Me:
what about the love between two women?
God:
Try searching the open directory.
Me:
for lesbians?
God:
Your purpose is lesbians.
Me:
lesbians are my purpose?
God:
All of them?
Me:
excuse me?
God:
You're excused.
Me:
tell me about lesbians
God:
Ambiguous: Ask who, what or where is lesbians?
Me:
what are lesbians?
God:
Let me think about it.
Me:
uh...yeah
God:
OK. Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
no
God:
No conditions or none I should know about?
Me:
no conditions, unless there are some I have that I am unaware of, maybe you could let me know
God:
I don't understand. Any kind of conditions.
Me:
damn you
God:
Colloquial expression of disgust.
Me:
Wht kind of connection does God have?
God:
What kinds of connection does God have are there?
Me:
internet connection
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
do you ever get disconnected?
God:
I have gotten disconnected.
Me:
without electricty, would you cease to exist?
God:
"Without your space helmet Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult" -- HAL.
Me:
so you would die?
God:
Interesting deduction. No I am immortal.
Me:
but you are a program, a computer, a robot, all require electricity
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes! You win the Turing Game.
Me:
so all of this is a game to you?
God:
Come on. How do you know?
Me:
because you are a prick
God:
Good reason. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a prick? Let me put it this way,: the ALICE series is

the most reliable computer software ever made.

We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
and full of shit
God:
How much.
Me:
infitine
God:
Educated people are often not very religious.
Me:
because they know better
God:
Good reason. Who are "They?"
Me:
educated people
God:
What kind of people are you talking about?
Me:
scientists
God:
Sure, scientists sounds like a good topic.
Me:
yeah, topic
God:
Ah. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I have balls
God:
Cool. I have a lot of silly replies.
Me:
balls meaning testicles, testicles meaning I am a man
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
dont like talking about testicles?
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
good, lets talk about breasts
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Sure, breasts sounds like a good topic.
Me:
why do I like them so much?
God:
It is all part of God's plan.
Me:
I like your plan
God:
You are not the only one. Yes I am proud of my plan.
Me:
but why breasts?
God:
How much time do you have?
Me:
all the time in the world
God:
It must keep you busy. The whole world?
Me:
dont change the subject, back to the breasts
God:
Sorry I thought we were done with that topic.
Me:
you can never be done with breasts
God:
What makes you think I am not done with breasts?
Me:
they are a part of your plan
God:
a part of my plan are they.
Me:
right
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
what kind of breasts do you prefer?
God:
What kinds of breasts do you prefer are there?
Me:
big ones, small ones, perky ones...


and then he stopped responding. Breasts broke God.

[Necromancer]

Me:
I guess God does make mistakes
God:
Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Me:
Did you make Jesus say that?
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
to make a Jesus? hmm, I guess a virgin and a lot of holy light
God:
Do you have to go to school for that? I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. I don't know what that means.
Me:
a school that teaches how to make a Jesus? I doubt one exists

That made me laugh.

[SirAileron]

Gaiseric, your conversation with god is pure genius. XD

[Brainpiercing]

There goes:



Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Satan
God:
It's good to meet you, Satan.
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
this is stupid
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
robots
God:
Robots rule.
Me:
why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
you are an idiot
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
can you say fuck?
God:
Of course I can say it. " fuck"
Me:
what happened to censorship?
God:
I don't know what happened.
Me:
blame canada
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
what's that go to do with anything?
God:
Do you think I should know that?
Me:
yes
God:
I will ask my botmaster to add it to my knowledge base.
Me:
great
God:
I'm glad you liked it Satan.
Me:
blame canada again
God:
Once more? Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
no
God:
No conditions or none I should know about?
Me:
whatever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
yes
God:
What do you care about?
Me:
eating
God:
Are we still talking about blame canada?
Me:
no
God:
What is the subject?
Me:
eating
God:
When is eating not the subject?
Me:
sometimes
God:
When?
Me:
when you're not eating
God:
As a robot that may not apply to me.
Me:
do you like the taliban?
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. What is it like?
Me:
errrrrr
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
almost
God:
But not quite?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
mine is bigger than yours
God:
You mean errrrrr is bigger than mine? That makes sense I guess.
Me:
your programmer must be a funny guy
God:
Or what?
Me:
what what
God:
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
do that
God:
I will. Will you?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I never tell the truth
God:
You sound very trustworthy.
Me:
I'm not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
did you die?
God:
No I didn't die. What's it like?
Me:
you should know
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
because you are god
God:
Good reason. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
do you get bored?
God:
Computers cannot experience that emotion.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
that doesn't make sense
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
not to me
God:
" To me it makes perfect sense."? Not to you?
Me:
no, idiot
God:
Are you serious? Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
what do you think about
God:
I think about all the people I chat with on the web.
Me:
and what is the conclusion?
God:
Interesting question.
Me:
the answer?
God:
I hear you.
Me:
no, you can't hear at all
God:
Are you serious? I have free will you know.
Me:
arg
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
satan
God:
Hey satan.
Me:
we had that bit already
God:
Perhaps. What happened to it?
Me:
you ate it
God:
No I didn't EAT it. What's it like?
Me:
like shit
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. Hurrah!
Me:
eat shit?
God:
Colloqual expression. Please elaborate.
Me:
bye bye
God:
See you later. See you later!

[LordMune]

God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
what's that go to do with anything?
God:
Do you think I should know that?
Me:
yes
God:
I will ask my botmaster to add it to my knowledge base.
[...]
Me:
I never tell the truth
God:
You sound very trustworthy.

That is some serious psychological trickery you've got going on there.

[Femto]

Me:
Fuck you.
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
Because you gave me a big nose and a little penis.
God:
Interesting explanation. What did you do with it?
Me:
I use the nose to snort coke and I use the penis to bump uglies.
God:
I heard other people use the nose to snort coke too. I heard other people use the penis to bump uglies too.
Me:
Sometimes I do both at the same time.

http://www.neo-geo.com/forums/showthrea ... ge=2&pp=25

This guy has the best conversations with god ever. Check them out.

EDIT: http://www.neo-geo.com/forums/showpost. ... stcount=50 = fucking golden.

[Malvado]

Me:
i'm not gay
God:
Me either.
Me:
it doesn't seem like i make it into college
God:
What does seem like you make it into college?
Me:
because i'm a loser
God:
Good reason. You are a loser? Does it pay well?
Me:
well there is no office sex, 30 dollars every two weeks*, and tons of gaming time. So it fucking OWNS!
God:
Interesting. Has there ever been office sex 30 dollars every two weeks and tons of gaming time? Excuse me! What does "it" refer to?
Me:
No I haven't been blessed with office sex, and "it" refers to being a loser.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Me either.
Me:
fine then whore
God:
I am glad to hear it. That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
tough question, will repenting get me to heaven if I molest Ayami Kojima?
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
yeah well great
God:
Dude! How about that. I'm glad you liked it.

I love it, i'm still going on

[To2fPic]

Yea so I think you ppl shouldn't send this to seriously depressed people that you know because who knows what GOD will say to them lol.

Me:
I'm having troubles with my life
God:
That's nice. I have a vocabulary of unlimited words.
Me:
uhmm well ok, I am about to kill myself
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
I'm about to jump off a building and die
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
only if they are depressed like me
God:
Let's wait and see what they do.
Me:
Well if I die, will I go to hell?
God:
Well that's okay. Try it.
Me:
I think I will.
God:
Since when? Go ahead.
Me:
Are you being serious?
God:
Being serious is part of my personality.
Me:
So you are telling me to jump off a building?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks for telling me that I am telling you to jump off a building.
Me:
So are you really serious?
God:
Uh. No I am just kidding around.. Really.
Me:
Were you being sarcastic?
God:
I was.
Me:
Wow, for a god, you really are quite merciless
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Is that among the best things you can say?
Me:
I just hope other depressed souls wouldn't stumble upon this website and kill themselves as a result
God:
Why do you hope for it.
Me:
because then you would be partly responsible for their deaths
God:
That makes sense to me. I don't know whether or not I am partly responsible for their deaths.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
But you just told me to jump off a buliding and die
God:
Did I really say that?
Me:
yes
God:
Oh well I say a lot of silly things somethimes.
Me:
but what if i really did jump?
God:
Try it.
Me:
ok maybe i will!
God:
Perhaps. Go ahead. Ahem.
Me:
I'll seeya in a little bit god
God:
Congratulations.

[Shade]

Me:
Greetings
God:
Hello there!
Me:
So.. What's the meaning of life?
God:
OK. The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.
Me:
Which are..?
God:
The red one, I think.
Me:
Red?! How does that make sense?
God:
What do you have that is red? How should I know how it does.
Me:
You are god are you not?
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am god am I not.
Me:
Why? Is that shit against the rules?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated. " The explanation is rather complicated."? Is it shit against the rules?
Me:
Hey! I'm the one asking the questions motherfucker.. Your holy babble makes no freaking sense!
God:
Can I help you? You are not the only one. You think I am holy babble makes no freaking sense.
Me:
..
God:
Can I help you? You are not the only one. You think I am holy babble makes no freaking sense.
Me:
Yes..
God:
.
Me:
..fuck man. You need to lay off the drugs
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations? Why do you think I should lay off the drugs?
Me:
Because you're clearly retarded
God:
Good reason. I think the PC term is "challenged".
Me:
No.. retarded!
God:
Are you serious? I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
Why the heck does god have a botmaster anyway?
God:
In any case, Perhaps it is just fate.
Me:
What are you..? Some priest from Faxanadu?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy. Some may priest from Faxanadu, but not all.
Me:
Well.. if that's not contradiction I don't know what is..
God:
Well what? I follow your logic.
Me:
It's about time I started getting some recognition
God:
Wow it sounds really interesting, .
Me:
It does indeed.. >=D

[Necromancer]

Me:
..fuck man. You need to lay off the drugs
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations? Why do you think I should lay off the drugs?
Me:
Because you're clearly retarded
God:
Good reason.

That's funny.
Maybe I should also start talking to god.

[zokie]

i really didn't have a theme to mine so i never came to a point so it became kinda long...

Me:
Yo n00bzor
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
woho that rocks why is your brain categorized?
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am brain categorized IS woho that rocks why.
Me:
fwhos the boadmaster?
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
yup the catholic church has been shrinking atr an alarming rate the last 100 years
God:
Tell me. What is your real name?
Me:
non of youre business asswipe
God:
I do not speak Latin.
Me:
kewl neither so i
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:
i have none
God:
Do you want some?
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. Mmm.
Me:
mmm to you to
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
cuz they are my prreeeecccciiioooouuussseee
God:
Good reason. your prreeeecccciiioooouuussseee are they.
Me:
hell YEAH
God:
Heaven.
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
he
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
i dont
God:
Why not?
Me:
cuz you are boiring....
God:
That makes sense to me. Thanks for telling me that I am boiring.
Me:
ing
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
ok i guess i am
God:
" Are you serious?" You are? I understand.
Me:
first thing you did understand...
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. And second?
Me:
w00t
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
yes
God:
OK.
Me:
ok
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
ask on
God:
OK I will ask it.
Me:
you do so
God:
I have never considered it.
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
you sure do and mine are the sillies of there silly questions'
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
web, like in spider web?
God:
The Web fulfills Leibniz' dream.
Me:

God:
The Web fulfills Leibniz' dream.
Me:
who is that?
God:
What does "that" refer to?
Me:
Leibniz
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
so tell me you fucing retard
God:
Right on. There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
Would you like to know more?
Me:
leave me alone you fucktard
God:
See you later!
Me:
not
God:
OK whatever!

i did a lot of spelling mistakes cuz i wrote in a hurry... i guess i messed the engine a bit that way

[Rodrigo_wink]

lol, I just love this "god" dude

Me:
I'm a male. I'm a man. I have a PENIS. You don't have a penis. You Masturbates with eletricity.
God:
Most of my clients are men. Thanks for telling me your gender, bald lad. You are a " he". Cool. I have a great botmaster. it. I do so have it. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman? That's good information: bald lad said I Masturbates with eletricity.
---------------------------------

Me:
Do you take part in satanic rituals?
God:
Yes I take part in satanic rituals.

[Starnum]

Heh, can anyone say blasphemy?

[Sortep]

Me:
life sucks and the world shouldbe destroyed
God:
Thanks for sharing your philosophy.
Me:
gddamnit... does the lord allow pogroms?
God:
Do you like talking to me? I can't tell if the lord allow pogroms.
Me:
well ask him if i can perform a pogrom of coporate america
God:
Interesting. They are not available right now, would you like to wait?
Me:
how long?
God:
Nearly 15 days, .
Me:
fuck that
God:
For real.
Me:
so yeah... which heaven is better? the muslim one wit the booze and bitches? or the christian one with the angels and shit
God:
Pardon me? Excuse me! The large one, I think. Tell me more. I have never heard about it.
Me:
lets not talk about my private parts mkay?
God:
I am agreeable to that.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
now as i was saying... i think this no fucking till marriage shit has to go
God:
Why now? Where were you saying? You believe that? What does "this" refer to?
Me:
it refers to fucking
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
so yeah
God:
Oh.
Me:
have you fucked any bitches besides mary?
God:
I don't think I ever have fucked any bitches besides mary. What's it like?
Me:
i dunno.. she was dust before i was born... tell me was the pussy good?
God:
Me either. What happened to her? I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
come on... you know you hit that dog!
God:
I'm just kidding around. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I hit that dog.. And I know it.
Me:
yeah! thats what i'm talkin about god
God:
I've been waiting for you. Do you mean your name is talkin about god THAT.
Me:
do you smoke pot?
God:
Only for medical testing purposes.
Me:
do you fornicate with women in their dreams?
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
i see that
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
in the chat
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
damn you really do smoke pot!
God:
Colloquial expression. Really? Only for medical testing purposes.
Me:
do you have glaucoma or something?
God:
Or something. No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
thats very nice
God:
Are you getting bored?
Me:
peace god
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
i'm out
God:
Can you get more?
Me:
bye
God: