Evil Genius

You lift the toilet seat and soon have one hand holding your pants and underwear down and with the other hand you're holding your schlong.

You know it's going to be a long one because you've been holding it in for half a day and can't wait to get it over with.

Then you begin to notice that the toilet seat is slowly starting to fall down.

It's slow enough that you have ample time to do something about it but not slow enough for you to be done with what your'e doing.

So, what do you do?

a) If you let go of one hand, you're pants will push your peeing device up to god knows where and it'll make a mess.

b) If you let go of the other hand, your non-aiming weiner will spray all over your toilet.

c) The toilet seat falls and you pee all over it.

So what's the perfect solution?

There is no perfect solution.

Prepare for panic and disaster, in that order.

I wear boxers, so I just use the wiener slot, which gives me a free hand to work with in this situation. XD

The premise is flawed, one hand should always be free. If you use the zipper hole, you shouldn't need to hold your pants, boxers or briefs should be tight enough to remain suspended at the lowered position without you having to hold them as well. If you're wearing pants without a zipper, then just spread your legs a little to keep them hanging.

Worst scenario for me is not paying attention to the direction you're peeing and then noticing half way that you're shot is spreading or somehow going sideways.

No, worse case scenario is when your wang is all twisted and pointed in whatever direction the toilet's not in. From above everything seems fine, but when the moment of truth comes, disaster always strucks, no exceptions.
Or when you wake up in the morning and the raging stiffy is so unmanageable you have to bend like a chinese circus freak, praying to the gods you won't miss.
And the gods, cruel as they are, gleefully ignore your prayers.

PS: Vaguely related question > Has anyone else ever been so long in the shower (with no windows open) that you eventually pass out, and with an herculean effort recover consciousness just long enough to open a door, only to pass out again?

Rolos wrote:PS: Vaguely related question > Has anyone else ever been so long in the shower (with no windows open) that you eventually pass out, and with an herculean effort recover consciousness just long enough to open a door, only to pass out again?

So long that you become oxygen deprived? No, that's never happened to me.

Clench really hard mid-stream?

Just pee on the toilet seat. It's easy to clean up. Grow a pair and deal with it. Or you could try kicking the seat.

When I'm old and in my deathbed, I'll direct my grandchildren to this thread as being my greatest accomplishment in life.

Femto wrote:When I'm old and in my deathbed, I'll direct my grandchildren to this thread as being my greatest accomplishment in life.

It is a pretty good thread I don't see a problem with this.

Where the fuck have YOU been?

Femto wrote:Where the fuck have YOU been?

I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you massage your lower back seductively.

I've been busy with ~uNiVeRsItY~ ok geez get off my case mom

easy solution:
pee sitting down you filth!

I don't think half the toilet seats in the world are as clean as I should like; and only half of those are half as clean as they deserve.

Wise advice bruh.

tsubaimomo wrote:I don't think half the toilet seats in the world are as clean as I should like; and only half of those are half as clean as they deserve.

No way you totally did that.

...and for that he deserves the quote in my signature.