Berserk Stupid theories

[The Herald]

Well, I doubt you actually could be locked up in a cage with Puck. He's a shapeshifter, he could squeeze through the bars. But, Puck would come back after you to try and free you, but just get away with a piece of you, like a finger.

[The Prince]

The Behilits all cry and go emo, grow emo-style hair and cut themselves.

The idea of god then dies and griffith turns into his original form again, unable to do shit.

Then Caska and Guts adopt him , and get a kid they name Pippin.

They revive that pedophile that took Griffith from behind when he was a kid, and he rapes Griffith til the end of his days.

But Griffith might actually enjoy that.

They should just lock him up in a cell again, and this time just have Puck torture him.

You MONSTER!!! No one deserves to be locked in a cage with Puck for the rest of their lives!!

Come on, Puck ain't so bad!

[Aetherfukz]

*burns his eyes out*

I didn't need to see such a detailed picture of Pucks lower region!

[Restricted18]

that was detailed?
there's nothing there!

...oh.



-
so, is there a non-stupid, more-serious theories thread?

[turkey]

you have to think that griffith was able to cleave one of zods horns clean off, so i expect he could do the same to the dragonslayer

point being Guts will never be able to kill Griffith alone, but he could try and stop him from gaining power i suppose, he should have allied with that kushan emperor if you ask me lol but its to late for that, the emperor is about to get owned, again

[Istvan]

point being Guts will never be able to kill Griffith alone, but he could try and stop him from gaining power i suppose, he should have allied with that kushan emperor if you ask me lol but its to late for that, the emperor is about to get owned, again

Um... no. Allying with an Apostle would go against everything Guts is/believes. If he was the kind to take the easier, more expedient route, even when such violated his principles, Guts would have died a long time ago. It is his incredible willpower and determination that has kept him going this long, and allying with the Kushan Emperor would go against that determination.

[ghostdog]

Well I have the bad feeling that in the end when he will face Griffith , Gutts won't be human anymore. He will probably be consumed by the demonic armor and his hatred. I also have the bad feeling that ALL of his comanions will be dead - probably killed by Griffith - and this will lead him into the madness. If this happens, I really hope that Gutts won't die together with Griffith in some symbolic ultimate-friendship shit. I hope that Gutts will cut blondie into pieces then slaughter the rest of the hand and finally become the god of death or something... ( you know , claim the throne of bhaal... oops that's from another story ^^)

[turkey]

Um... no. Allying with an Apostle would go against everything Guts is/believes. If he was the kind to take the easier, more expedient route, even when such violated his principles, Guts would have died a long time ago. It is his incredible willpower and determination that has kept him going this long, and allying with the Kushan Emperor would go against that determination.

true it's something he doesn't do, but then i was saying that as he is now, he stands little chance taking griffith on, even with this little group he's formed, it would be suicide. schrieke is the only valuable asset he has in the group, but still it is unlikely he will fight griffith and win. the skull knight is the only worthy ally he has. the sk and flora gave him the berserker armor, which largely accounts for his ridiculous feats of strength. however, flora is "dead" so it is the sk that is the most important ally at this point. the others have proven themselves, but are not worth keeping after elfhelm imo, because they will probally just slow him down. but then he has kind of dumped the "lone swordsmen" mentality he used to have, so i dunno if he would do something that drastic. should he choose to leave the group, in search of griffith, he will have to count on the skullnights assistance.
but he needs allies or else griffith need not fear him, cause he isn't much of a threat, though i think its unlikely some of this stuff is happening by chance, guts may very well have a destiny of his own, now that would be something.

btw. i think its mentioned that to return caska back to normal guts will have to sacrifice something, or theres a catch to it. something to do with the elf king

[The Herald]

Guts will have to sacrifice his dominance over the group and relinquish it all to Puck! See, I told you guys he was a barbie doll, nothing down there. Though, since this is Berserk, and Miura's allowed to draw nudity, it would be almost less gross to actually see something. I personally would have been happy with a leafy loin cloth, like in Fern Gully.

[Rolos]

Yeah, I totally agree with you Herald!!!
I mean, you start to wonder.....how the fuck do they reproduce without.....well.....fucking? Some kind of spore? May be mitosis?

Oh, I know, I know!!!

They are like bees!! Only the queen ( in this case the king) can give birth to new individuals!!

That would explain so many things....Puck s total lack of brain, just to name one....

[The Herald]

Na, I think that Puck is actually a girl who can't grow boobs, so he think's he's a he.

[turkey]

Yeah, I totally agree with you Herald!!!
I mean, you start to wonder.....how the fuck do they reproduce without.....well.....fucking? Some kind of spore? May be mitosis?

Oh, I know, I know!!!

They are like bees!! Only the queen ( in this case the king) can give birth to new individuals!!

That would explain so many things....Puck s total lack of brain, just to name one....

hmm... the elves exist more in the astral world therefore spawned by human imagination and not so much sex

[Istvan]

Na, I think that Puck is actually a girl who can't grow boobs, so he think's he's a he.

Perhaps you mean that "she think's she's a he"?

It just seems to make more sense that way.

[Rolos]

hmm... the elves exist more in the astral world therefore spawned by human imagination and not so much sex

Poor, innocent mind....

EVERYTHING you imagine is spawned by sex. EVERYTHING you think of comes, directly or indirectly, from your burning desire to have sex.

Why?.........well, as Victor Hugo once said...."(Your) Imagination is (Your) Intelligence with an erection"

Thats just the way the world is.

So, if imagination comes from sex, then Elves are given birth by sex related thoughts.

"Cogito ergo sex sum elves" = I thinks about sex,therefore elves exist.


PD: I love this thread.....no matter how ilogic or stupid your theory is, it is always welcomed here.

[FightClub]

4chan has ruined all of you.

[Rolos]

4chan? What is that?



Pd: berserk stupid theory: Gutts will rape the world, then the universe, then the twelve monkeys and then it will start all over again.

Griffith is gay. (OMFG, I am sooo original) His true dream is to spread his gay pimpin` empire all over the world. Anyway, its always the cadis fault.

[The Herald]

Puck is a he in his own mind. But he's also a chestnut.

[Restricted18]

hmmmmmmmmmm maybe puck is the prince of elfheim
*shrug*

i reckon guts's gonna get his arm fixed (the arm cannon's become somewhat obsolete lately anyway, since the 'discovery' of the spirit-infused dragon slayer) at elfheim (foreshadowing from that recent chapter on the ship where he tried to grab casca to save her, but he held out the wrong hand and his metal arm obviously can't grip)

but anyway, the way i see the ending of berserk going down is...
well, based on the prophecies, the 'dark hawk' is griffith, the 'blind king of the white sheep' is skull knight (no eyes, the crown, bone-white etc) who 'serves as shepherd' (he essentially leads guts on his path) to the 'villainy of the black sheep' - guts (which i think is an excellent description and metaphor for Guts - black swordsman, a person that's never really 'belonged' to a group, the darkness of his heart, etc.).
(btw, the next part says 'and he calls forth an era of darkness upon the world' - who does? the dark hawk? the white sheep? the black sheep?)
guts is progressively getting more powerful.. first his inhuman strength, then he's got the spirit-infused dragon slayer, and now the berserker armour, as well as being stuck between layers and slowly losing his humanity or trascending the mortal plane of existence; but at this point griffith is still simply just untouchable. but..
guts has the behelit he took from the count, and there's been enough foreshadowing (particularly from flora, where she says something along the lines of 'these things have the tendency to return to their rightful master at their hour of need') to hint that in the end he'll probably have to use it (that is if he takes the path of madness and sacrifices both his humanity and his loved ones) - which would completely go against his beliefs, so i think it's unlikely, but still it'll be the fulfilment of skull knight's 'prophecy' "you can either protect or avenge, you cannot do both" (i don't remember the correct phrasing, but he's said it more than once)
- but of course this little problem could be solved by the wolf, linking to chapter 290 with the wolf's speech/taunt in guts' dream. it 'prophesied' that it'll eventually take over. and since it has no regard for guts' new companions, and its only drive is vengeance and hatred and desire, then eventually at that 'crossroads' it'll be more than happy to sacrifice guts' comrades for the power to strike griffith down. which would work, because there's nothing to suggest the apostles and the godhand can't struggle against each other - the kushan emperor has proved that much. guts being a sacrifice and already an existence transcending the mortal realm might guarantee him enough power to strike griffith down, and/or it may have to take place during an (makeshift?) eclipse.
- and of course that would just be depressing, guts once again trapped in solitude, and it -probably- won't happen, but i won't put it past miura...
- but if it were to happen, at that point guts would become an existence that he should hate himself - kin to the apostles and the godhand, and the killer of his own loved ones; well, he'd probably kill himself if he could.
i don't think miura is THAT bad... but you never know.........

on the other hand, for a stupid theory, guts could fulfil the other part of skullknight's prophecy and just leave griffith in peace to rule his kingdom, perhaps forgive him? (he is, sort of, their son, after all) and start a family with casca/farnese/schierke (he's got a three-woman harem just like Rand from WoT ;D), raising isidro as his 'squire' and they all live happily ever after~~

[The Prince]

I just realized from the previous post, that Guts can't be the WhiteHawk. Because way back in 290, it showed an image of Guts' Wolf-subconcious chasing after a WhiteHawk. If Guts were the WH, that would mean he would be chasing after his own ass.....Though dogs due tend to do that sometimes.

[The Prince]

Going waaaaayyyyyyy back in the story.

After their first encounter with Zodd while Guts and Griffith are having an intimate moment on the steps of the castle (first pages of Vol 6) right after Griffith's says....

Griffith: Tell me. Do I need a reason each time....I put myself in harm's way for your sake?

...there is an extremely awkard silent moment the two share, right before the King steps in the scene.
Does anyone else think that with the two being vulnerable as they were at the moment, we may have seen some kissy-kissy action if the King did not interrupt? At least it appears Griffith was full on hitting on Guts at the time, and Guts didn't quite know what to make of it.

If you go back to that scene and re-read it I'm afraid.....uhm well...Let's just say I personally would like to thank the King and Count Julius for stepping in when they had.

[The Herald]

Nah, I don't think so. Guts has listened to Griffith alone in other areas and nothing happened. The water fight is a lot less homo in the anime than in the manga, but that's all because Griffth is much more masculine in the anime. If anything romantic happened, Guts would have just pushed Griffith away and become distant. If you think about it, Guts probably would have left the Hawks way earlier and he wouldn't be branded and all that. Who knows, maybe no eclipse could have happened.

[lon3vvolf]

Lets not get off topic here and stick to the stupid theories instead of throwing long, ugly and out of the blue predictions which are obviously flawed...

oh wait, that IS a stupid theory.


Anywho... once at Elfheim Gutts will meet Claire from Claymore and she will teach him how to attach peoples appendages to replace his own.

He will repay Claires kindness and knowledge sharing by chocking her while having sex.

Gutts will then cut off Zods arm, leaving him missing 1 hand and 1 horn, and attach it to replace his. We have seen Zod re-attach his arm when he tossed Gutts and Griffith around way back when, so its possible. Hows that for a stupid theory?

[The Prince]

Lets not get off topic here and stick to the stupid theories instead of throwing long, ugly and out of the blue predictions which are obviously flawed...

oh wait, that IS a stupid theory.


Anywho... once at Elfheim Gutts will meet Claire from Claymore and she will teach him how to attach peoples appendages to replace his own.

He will repay Claires kindness and knowledge sharing by chocking her while having sex.

Gutts will then cut off Zods arm, leaving him missing 1 hand and 1 horn, and attach it to replace his. We have seen Zod re-attach his arm when he tossed Gutts and Griffith around way back when, so its possible. Hows that for a stupid theory?

Now that's some pretty stupid shit right there!

BTW...Zodd got the same arm chopped off during the eclipse by SK.

-While you're at it, what about Wyald and his needs?

-You're right when it comes to making love, Guts isn't exactly GQ-smooth. Whether its his encounter in the very first pages of the story, getting raped by Gambito's buddy or Slaan for that matter, or even while losing his virginity (being ass-raped doesn't count) to Caska, hard to imagine these scenes playing out to the tune of Barry White.

[madonnalal]

Lets not get off topic here and stick to the stupid theories instead of throwing long, ugly and out of the blue predictions which are obviously flawed...

oh wait, that IS a stupid theory.


Anywho... once at Elfheim Gutts will meet Claire from Claymore and she will teach him how to attach peoples appendages to replace his own.

He will repay Claires kindness and knowledge sharing by chocking her while having sex.

Gutts will then cut off Zods arm, leaving him missing 1 hand and 1 horn, and attach it to replace his. We have seen Zod re-attach his arm when he tossed Gutts and Griffith around way back when, so its possible. Hows that for a stupid theory?

How Claymore should have gone.

[dialdfordesi]

When Ganishka is deposed by Griffith, Griffith allows the dude to live. Ganishka then moves on to pursue a Bollywood career.